It is 2:30 am and I can't sleep. Just a month ago I was at a hospice center with my little brother and now I am in ICU with another family member. So much of me is overwhelmed. I feel as though I am continually having to shift gears because my life has changed in a matter of moments. The pain and the losses seem unbearable at times.
I must confess that I wonder, "Why, God?," a lot. I don't understand why there is so much suffering in the world. I don't know why my loved ones have to go through so much pain. But I do know this ... God loves me, God loves you, and He desires for us to have a blessed life.
I have so many blessings around me and I know that God continually goes before me, no matter what happens. He will protect me, guide me, and love me no matter what. I hold onto that every day.
I am sure that my trials pale in comparison to some of yours. I feel heavy hearted about the things some of you must be facing. All I can say is, never let go of God. He loves you with an everlasting love and has great plans for your life. Don't be afraid to question Him, just be available to hear His answer.
With much love....
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Growing in Ministry
It was 1995 and I was entering a new phase of my ministry journey. I had no idea what I was doing but I did know that I was doing what God wanted me to do. I was joining Bill in special needs ministry. We had spent a lot of time looking back over our lives to see what God had prepared us to do and it became clear to us that we were prepared to serve in this way.
On that first Sunday I walked down to a room that we set up for our handful of children affected by special needs. We had a table, a few toys, a cabinet, a gate and a couple of volunteers. I had read a number of books about children with autism. The books I had read years ago made autism sound hopeless and the children were unable to connect and love. I had broadened my understanding in college as I went through some courses in Occupational Therapy but I still had a very limited view.
On that first Sunday, however, my perspective and heart was changed forever because Michael had come into my life. I was fascinated by Michael. It was obvious that he was brilliant but it was also apparent that it would take some time to build a relationship with him.
Michael seemed to be fine without me but I sure wanted a relationship with him. He would walk around the room the whole hour repeating a phrase and moving his hand across his face. He did this over and over again. The first week I tried to talk to him but I mostly watched Michael. He was happy. He was content. He appeared to be in another world.
After several weeks of trying to make conversation with him, it dawned on me that maybe I needed to enter his world before he would enter mine. I sat down on the floor beside him and started repeating the words he was saying and mimicked his hand motions. He immediately stopped and looked at me. I felt like he was saying, "Hey, that is my gig!" That day, however, we made a connection. From that day on, I always greeted him the same way with the same words and the same hand motion. I entered his world and this opened the door for him to enter mine.
Over the next several weeks our connection grew. Then one Sunday he entered the room reciting a long list of names, ending with the name of a major motion picture company. He was reciting all of the credits from a movie he had seen the night before. I kept thinking about his incredible ability to memorize and thought, he could probably memorize scripture. The next Sunday I started working with him on scripture memory and he was incredible.
My friendship and love for Michael grew over time. He was full of love, hope and tremendous abilities. I loved Michael for the incredibly gifted person he was. I also loved what he taught me about people. If we are willing to step into another person's world for a little while, they will be more likely to enter into ours and we both just might learn something from each other.
In the 16 years since then I have been blessed by friendships with a number of people with autism. I will never be the same and that is what great friendships are all about.
On that first Sunday I walked down to a room that we set up for our handful of children affected by special needs. We had a table, a few toys, a cabinet, a gate and a couple of volunteers. I had read a number of books about children with autism. The books I had read years ago made autism sound hopeless and the children were unable to connect and love. I had broadened my understanding in college as I went through some courses in Occupational Therapy but I still had a very limited view.
On that first Sunday, however, my perspective and heart was changed forever because Michael had come into my life. I was fascinated by Michael. It was obvious that he was brilliant but it was also apparent that it would take some time to build a relationship with him.
Michael seemed to be fine without me but I sure wanted a relationship with him. He would walk around the room the whole hour repeating a phrase and moving his hand across his face. He did this over and over again. The first week I tried to talk to him but I mostly watched Michael. He was happy. He was content. He appeared to be in another world.
After several weeks of trying to make conversation with him, it dawned on me that maybe I needed to enter his world before he would enter mine. I sat down on the floor beside him and started repeating the words he was saying and mimicked his hand motions. He immediately stopped and looked at me. I felt like he was saying, "Hey, that is my gig!" That day, however, we made a connection. From that day on, I always greeted him the same way with the same words and the same hand motion. I entered his world and this opened the door for him to enter mine.
Over the next several weeks our connection grew. Then one Sunday he entered the room reciting a long list of names, ending with the name of a major motion picture company. He was reciting all of the credits from a movie he had seen the night before. I kept thinking about his incredible ability to memorize and thought, he could probably memorize scripture. The next Sunday I started working with him on scripture memory and he was incredible.
My friendship and love for Michael grew over time. He was full of love, hope and tremendous abilities. I loved Michael for the incredibly gifted person he was. I also loved what he taught me about people. If we are willing to step into another person's world for a little while, they will be more likely to enter into ours and we both just might learn something from each other.
In the 16 years since then I have been blessed by friendships with a number of people with autism. I will never be the same and that is what great friendships are all about.
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