Where Are You On The Spectrum?

I find it troubling when someone refers to a person as someone "on the spectrum."  I know I would not want to be evaluated or classified as to where I am on a weight spectrum or intellectual spectrum because as a person I am so much more than that, just like the youth I know with amazing talents and gifts.

I browsed the thesaurus to find a different word but for this topic, I love the word "spectrum."  It makes us think and I hope, challenges us.

The front end of the spectrum is WELCOME.  As a church body it is important for us to welcome whomever walks through our church doors.  We welcome them with love, acceptance and joy.  We help them assimilate into the church in such a way that they feel valued, useful and loved.  So often I encounter churches that tell me they are not "called" to serve those with disabilities and I want to ask them, "So did you feel a specific calling to serve women? Men? Children?  Our arms should welcome the stranger, the blind, the deaf and the lame.  In Luke 9:48 it says, “Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For it is the one who is least among you all who is the greatest.”

But then, is it enough to welcome people affected by a disability?  We also need to SERVE them in the same way we should serve everyone in the church.  In Galatians 5:13 it says, You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.  According to Dictionary.com one definition of serve is, "to render assistance." There are many ways to render assistance.  We can make sure our church has wider doorways, lower water fountains, and ramps to name a few.  We can render assistance in helping an individual feel welcomed and part of the church by making introductions and including them in the life of the church.

Yet, is it enough to serve people affected by a disability?  In Romans 12:10 it says, Be devoted to one another in LOVE. Honor one another above yourselves.  So I not only need to welcome the disabled, but I need to serve them and love them above myself?  Absolutely!  

Is it enough to welcome, serve and love those affected by disabilities?  We also need to be their FRIENDS.  I have loved many people in my life but I have not been friends with all of them.  A friend is someone you spend time with.  You invite them over, you take them out, you want to spur them on to use their gifts and reach their fullest potential.  You want to encourage them and serve alongside them.  You want to share your own shortcomings and ask them to pray for you and help you reach your potential.  You need to walk the road with them.  I love in Ruth 4:1where it says, Meanwhile Boaz went up to the town gate and sat down there just as the guardian-redeemer he had mentioned came along. Boaz said, “Come over here, my friend, and sit down.” So he went over and sat down.  I know I have dropped the ball on this lately.  When is the last time I met a stranger, who happened to have a disability, and said, "Come over here, my friend, and sit down?  I know I feel challenged.

So where are you on the spectrum?  Do you need to start with welcoming someone with a disability to your church?  We need to keep growing in our relationship just as we do with anyone else.  Is there someone you can sit down with and get to know?  Someone that you can share what is going on in your life?  Someone you can say to, "Come over here, my friend, and sit down."

The spectrum of disability ministry starts with a welcome and ends with a friendship.  Where are you on the spectrum?

Finding My Sanctuary

     Throughout my life I have always had a secret quiet place I would go to journal, pray and dream a little.  When I was a teenager in Colorado I always loved to get in my car and drive up Turkey Creek Canyon.  The drive up there was just as therapeutic as my walk up the mountainside.  I loved spending time with God and thinking about what my future would be.

     When we moved to Clear Lake, Texas I didn't think it would be possible to find a new little haven but I did.  I loved spending the evening all my myself in Nassau Bay.  The lighthouse, the sound of the water and the laughter of kids in the park where just as soothing to me as the Rocky Mountains.

      When we moved to Austin, I started looking for my special spot as soon as we arrived.  It took me a few years, but I ended up going to Lady Bird Johnson's Wildflower Research Center.  I loved walking their trails, taking pictures of the wildflowers and gazing out one of the beautiful windows in their visitor's center.  Unfortunately, the secret got out and it became a special place to a lot of people but I still go visit because I think it is beautiful.

     My new sanctuary is in Georgetown, however.  It is a place of hope, joy, rest, and beauty.  I love to visit BiG (Brookwood in Georgetown).  I can visit their gift shop and purchase beautiful pottery made by very talented artists,  I can walk through their greenhouse and admire all of the gorgeous flowers.  It is relaxing to find a chair in a quiet corner of their grounds and watch the people that work there.  It is a treat to have lunch in their quaint little cafe.  There are many reasons I love to visit BiG.  At BiG I am surrounded by adults, that happen to have a disability, who are full of talent, energy, purpose, joy and hope.  They are the ones that make the pottery, cards, flower baskets, and food.  

     When I am visiting BiG I always feel inspired to dream a little bigger and love a little deeper.  I see God's reflection in the adults participating in the dream there and I come home refreshed and excited about what the future holds.

What Group Are You A Part Of?

     When I was 13 years old I lived in a "group" all by myself.  I attended gatherings of people, but I was too insecure to feel like I was part of the group.  It wasn't really anyone's fault, I just had higher expectations of myself that I never seemed to meet, therefore, I didn't feel qualified to be one of them.

     Later I joined an amazing group of people and I did feel like I fit in.  I became a believer and follower of Jesus Christ.  I was welcomed with forgiveness, grace, and love.  Over time I realized that none of them were perfect so I learned how to grant grace to them as well as myself.

     Next I became a wife and a mother.  I didn't give myself much slack in that group.  I read every book I came across that might be helpful.  I took a lot of courses and unfortunately, I thought I could be perfect as long as I did everything "right."

     Interestingly, the group that changed me the most was when I became an educator.  You cannot understand how to be an effective teacher unless you understand how to be an effective student.  Let me tell you, five-year-olds will give you perspective faster than anyone.  For a while, I was asked on a daily basis if I had a baby in my tummy...that is until they knew I was too old.  Many times I was told I had bad breath so I made sure to use mouthwash.  They also had other perspectives.  I was told that I was "always appropriate" and was beautiful and had beautiful clothes.  Those perspectives are not so true but in their minds, they were.  I was able to belong and learn from both my students and my fellow teachers.

     For the last five years, I have hung out with another group of people, writers.  I will never forget my first exposure to them.  I left with the impression that they are brilliant, but usually had their head in the clouds.  No offense to them, but I find myself with my head in the clouds more often than not.  I am usually thinking about the next book or even the one after the next book!

     I realize that I only know a small sampling of writers, but each time one of them has released a book, they have had a hard time letting go of it.  It is hard to put your heart on paper and hand it to the world.  You never know how people are receiving it.  You don't know if your words made them mad or ministered to them.  You can never even take the words back and that is scary!

     It is also hard to make your work known.  I can't speak for all writers, but many of us present our words with humility.  First of all, we are not the writers of our story, we are merely the editors that make a few changes here and there.  God is the writer of our story so He deserves the praise.

     With all that said, I humbly share my words with you.  Hopefully you will be able to see the losses as well as the wins.  There have been times of pain, as well as great times of joy.  I have read many autobiographies and personal stories over the years and even the people with vastly different views than mine have taught me something.

     I am not a brilliant writer and yes, my head is often in the clouds.  I tried to write my book in such a way that you will can read it quickly and you will feel like we had a cup of coffee together and shared a few stories.  Some people love relationships through technology (chat rooms, tweeting, texting, etc.).  I love relationships founded on words with meaning evolved from experience.

     I would love to share my story with you over a cup of coffee.

                                                                                                                 Blessings,

                                                                                                                 Deana

https://www.amazon.com/Grace-Without-Margins-Journey-Through/dp/0578106744/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1493831265&sr=8-2&keywords=grace+without+margins

“Smiley”

  "Smiley"

     Fourteen years ago, as my father entered the gates of heaven, I made a promise to God that I would do whatever He asked of me.  At times those requests have been challenging and He asked things of me that I never dreamed of doing.  I am so grateful for the changes in my life and heart since then.  

     This week God asked me to do something I didn’t feel prepared for.  The first day I dug my heals in and really questioned God.  The next day I reminded myself of all the things God has asked me to do over the last fourteen years and the blessings that have resulted.  Today, I am excited about all of the possibilities!

    In 2008 God prompted me to start teaching children about abilities and disabilities.  We first learned about our own and then it was easier to be understanding of someone else’s.  I put together a month long unit on disabilities.  I explained disabilities, talked about accommodations, shared how to be polite, let my students experience disabilities, and I introduced them to amazing people affected by them.  During the month I had my teaching assistant by my side.  She gave me confidence and she helped me break down misconceptions the children  might have.

     My assistant, “Smiley,” came into my life about six years ago.  In previous years I had borrowed a wheelchair from a relative to use with my students.  It was large and cumbersome so I started praying one summer that God would bring me a child’s wheelchair.  I had a number of connections that would be able to provide me with one, but I wanted to know that it came from God and I wasn’t using a chair that needed to go to a child instead.  I quietly prayed for a month and waited to see what God might do.

    Then one day I heard a knock on my classroom door.  My students were gathered around me in “Circle Time.”  Our copier repair man opened the door and said, “I hear you might want a child’s wheelchair.  I have one for you.”

     I started to cry.  I was overwhelmed by how God chose to bless me.  My little buddy even had a smiley face.  I shared my prayer request with my students and they all named my new teaching assistant, “Smiley.”

     Over the years, with 100+ students, Smiley has taught about disabilities and has broken down some walls.  A wheelchair is no longer scary because they have popped wheelies and raced down the hall to the lunchroom in a wheelchair.  When it was time to start our fundraising efforts for Joni and Friends, the kids understood the value of mobility and were so excited to raise money and collect wheelchairs.

     At the end of my unit on disabilities, in my last year of teaching, my students told me that I needed to donate the wheelchair but I wasn’t ready and wanted to use it for some speaking engagements.  God has told me it is time now.

     I will miss my little buddy but I am excited about the child that will receive it.  May Smiley bring joy to a little boy or girl and take him/her on many exciting adventures.  I hope God lets me hear the story of where my chair ends up.  I will miss you, Smiley!

Are You Listening?

Many times in my adult life I have had people tell me that I am a really good listener.  At times I have been and I am certainly a better listener in my 50's than I was in my 20's.

I have many regrets in my life when it comes to listening.  There are times I should have been more attentive to my husband telling me how his day was.  I should have listened more to my children as they were going through the teen years instead of worrying about being the perfect parent and keeping my attention there.  I should have been a better listener when I met new people, especially people that have lived a different life than I have.

A few years ago I started thinking about how to be a better listener and it has changed my life and my perspective on people.  I want to consider myself inclusive, but I am constantly reminded of the walls I still build up.  So I challenge myself periodically.  I challenge myself to find someone I don't understand and just sit down and listen to their journey.

Over the last few years I have been blessed by the company of a variety of people and the more I listened to their story, the more I see what we have in common.  The more I listened to their heart, the more my heart changed.

Over the last few years:

• I have visited with a young man affected by schizophrenia and bi-polar disorder. 
• I have played with a child with autism.
• I have asked a concentration camp survivor to share her story with me.
• I have spent an afternoon with a young man living with a traumatic brain injury.
• I have had a lovely conversation with someone that speaks a different language than I do.
• I have listened to the perspectives of a democrat.
• I have listened to the perspectives of a republican.
• I have asked for advice from a child.
• I have asked someone that uses a wheelchair what are the most hurtful things people do as they interact with him.
• I have bought a meal for a stranger and asked them to tell me their story.

When we listen to others, the barriers are erased.  When we listen to someone else's story, they become a real person with real hurts and feelings.  When we listen, we change ourselves.

Who are you going to listen to this week?

Emotional Pile-up

Wow... it is a rather emotional day.  It is my first day completely alone in a long time.  I woke up with great ambition to get caught up on my life:  laundry, filing, paying bills, straightening up, running errands.  Not only had the laundry and paperwork piled up, but so had the emotions.

Sunday was a beautiful day.  My sweet daughter got married out on a farm where there is no pretense, only love.  God provided the decor.  Just as Jesus' birth was surrounded by animals, their lovely wedding was too.  The horse, the donkey, and all of the goats and chickens seemed to join in the fun.

My mom was on the verge of being hospitalized but we didn't quite know it.  She was doing what she loves the most in life during the wedding: being with family, sharing her faith in Christ, and joining two people in holy matrimony.  She went to the hospital two days later, but with a smile on her face.  She was able to be there for her granddaughter and is now recovering well.

I loved watching my sweet grandchildren take part in the ceremony and run and play afterwards among the goats.  They have been such an incredible blessing in my life.

When you watch your children get married, you tend to reminisce about your own wedding.  Bill and I married 31 years ago and it was beautiful.  My sweet granddaughter gently reminded Bill and I that we need to step up our game, however.  She said we need to kiss more, color together, and play a few video games. So I will try to fill the echoing sounds of an empty house with more joy and laughter so the next 31 years are just as fun.

Tomorrow I will get back to dreaming and looking for God's direction, but today I am going to thank God for every moment of the past.

Absolutely

I had an interesting conversation with a good friend tonight.  We caught each other up on what is going on in our lives and then we talked about the past.  He said, "I don't mean to offend you by saying this.  You have always been loving, but some of the hard things that have happened to you have made you even more loving."  I absolutely agreed with him.

There have been people groups that I haven't really understood and, consequently, haven't loved them the way I should have...until I walked with them.  There have been times in my life that I could not see God's purpose and questioned Him...until I looked back at what He accomplished.  There have been times that I felt I had nothing to offer the world...until I trusted Him.

Tomorrow reach out to someone walking a different path than you are and love them.  Tomorrow look for what God is accomplishing and be part of it.  Tomorrow surrender to God and walk with Him.  Trust that He can use your life, your successes and your failures, and trust Him.