Teaching Children About The Dream

Last week I have the privilege of visiting a friend's 3rd grade classroom to speak on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  I hope to have the opportunity to honor him every year, especially as the children get farther away in history from the incredible impact he made.

I find history and people fascinating.  I loved sharing the power of history if we touch both the generations before us and those after us.  If I join hands with the children and tell them my stories they can touch history all the way back to the early 1960's.  When I share the stories of my parents, we can go back to the 1930's and if I tell them about my great-grandfather that I knew and loved, they can link to history from the late 1800's. 

The prejudice and cruelty of the 60's is not so long ago.  I can reach back and touch it.  I vaguely remember separate water fountains and restrooms but I vividly remember the rioting I witnessed in Washington, DC.  I remember the pressure to not talk to blacks when I was in school.  I remember the meetings that were held in our neighborhood trying to force our family out because we let people of all races into our home.  I remember participating in the March on Washington and seeing my dad weep the day Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr was shot.

I am grateful for the changes I have seen in my lifetime.  They are huge.  There aren't separate restrooms and water fountains.  People have the right to vote.  They have the right to an education and great opportunities of employment.  We need to celebrate the advancements that have happened due to Dr. King's sacrifice and the sacrifices of many others.  

However, we still have a long way to go!  Our children and grandchildren need to know the pain of the past and the realities of the present.  After I spoke to the 3rd grade class, they had to complete the sentence, "I have a dream..." for themselves.  There were some very honest and vulnerable responses.

What struck me though was the racial tension that exists today was rarely mentioned.  This was a very multi-cultural class so I expected them to say more about it.  In some respects, I am glad racial tension is not huge on their radar, but in other respects, I am saddened.  Do they know that we have a long way to go?  Are we sharing and teaching enough about it?

I guess part of my dream is to never forget the past, to recognize the issues and pain of the present, and to commit to Dr. Martin Luther King's dreams for the future.  We still have so much to do.

Aging Parents and Loss

Bill and I finished teaching our "Aging Parents and Loss" class in December. We love sharing our experiences and the things we have learned.  Our hope is that we can give encouragement and make the journey a little easier for others.

Walking through the journey of aging parents can be hard.  Seeing our parents, the roles in relationships, and the future change can be difficult, but walking right through the middle of those challenges can make the road a little easier.

A couple of weeks ago two people from our class shared the results of using the suggestions we gave in class.  The honest conversations we had gave them permission, in a sense, to go ahead and have the awkward conversations with their parents.  Their conversations went well.  Oftentimes we are all thinking the same thing but are afraid to bring them up.

Another friend shared that he used our tips on "Communicating With Your Hard-of-Hearing Grandparents" and "Communicating With Your Grandchildren."  He sat down with his grandchildren and said, "This is me."  They talked over the suggestions and even had a few laughs along the way.
He also shared that he and his wife wrote a schedule on a chalkboard each day so one of his guests for the holidays would be more comfortable and less anxious about what the day might bring.

Bill and I love teaching this class because we have seen how much easier it is when you have friends that understand the challenges and are walking the road with you.  If you are interested in attending a class or just have some questions, please feel free to contact us.

Bill and Deana Boggess

gracewithoutmargins@aim.com

512-673-0187

Today has been an exciting day as we launched, 

"A Grandmother to Remember."  

What I love the most is hearing people share stories about their grandmothers and the impact they had on their lives.

Whether you are about to be a first-time grandmother or you are well seasoned, this book will give you ideas for leaving an imprint that will last for generations.  

Books are now available on Amazon!

https://www.amazon.com/Grandmother-Remember-Deana-Boggess/dp/0999420828/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1544489567&sr=8-1&keywords=a+grandmother+to+remember+by+deana+boggess

7 More Days!

2 shipments of books will arrive TODAY!

7 more days until the official launch of...

This book is for a very special group of women—grandmothers. If you are about to embark on the wonderful adventure of grandmothering, consider this book your guide to being intentional about leaving a meaningful imprint on the lives of your grandchildren. If you’re already a grandmother, this book offers ideas for creating memories with your grandchildren, sharing your faith, and leaving an imprint that will last for generations.

A Grandmother to Remember is the perfect gift for a grandmother-to-be and would be an ideal selection for a grandmother book club. The Questions for the Grandmother will prompt meaningful discussion, and the Making Memories sections will jump- start the fun.

December 10 is our official launch date.  

Buy one for the grandmothers on your Christmas list!

Books may be purchased on Amazon and Barnes&Noble!

If you are local, I have some at my home.

Teachers Judged With Greater Strictness, Reason II

As teachers, not only are we going to leave lasting imprints on our students, but we are representing Jesus Christ.  We cannot forget that many of the students entrusted to us have never heard the name of Jesus.  We are ambassadors for Christ.

And Jesus came and said to them, 

“All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Matthew 28:18-20 ESV

You are a chosen people.  You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession.  As a result, you can show the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.  I Peter 2:9

Out of the 165 students I had at FFP, one of my favorites things said about me by a student was, “I love when she plays with God.”  My other favorite is, “Mrs. Boggess is always appropriate.”  If they knew me very well they would know that is not true but I am glad he thinks so.  I would love it if my students saw me as appropriate in my relationship with God because then I am taking my role as ambassador seriously.  At the same time, I want them to see me playing with God because that means I enjoy Him.

Yes, teachers are held to a greater strictness but what an honor!

Teachers Judged With Greater Stictness

 In James 3:1 it says,

Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.  

But why are we held to a greater strictness?  I think there are three main reasons.  Today I will talk about the first one.

Lasting Imprints, Good or Bad

For a long time it scared me that teachers would be judged with greater strictness.  I felt like I barely had a prayer as it was.  Now I look at that verse with an understanding of what a powerful statement that is.  Teachers will be judged with a greater strictness because we have the potential of tremendous impact.  Teachers are shaping a generation of kids and giving kids their first impression of education, of teachers, and of themselves.  Teachers have the ability to impact students and how they see themselves and their abilities.  

I remember someone sharing a confession with me one day.  He had a patient that told him she was a preschool teacher.  

He said, “To be honest, I wasn't impressed.”  

I said, “Oh it isn't as prestigious as a high school teacher or a college professor?”  

He said, “Right, but then I realized how much more important the preschool teacher is because everything in high school and college is dependent on the preschool or kindergarten teacher.  They teach them the skills they need to learn everything else.”  Of course, I agreed with him.  Teachers are judged with greater strictness because they have great impact!

I had been tutoring a former student over the summer.  I think it was already an adjustment for him to come into my home, meet my husband and see pictures of my children and grandchildren all over the walls.  He was kind of nervous the first time he came over.  After our first session his mom texted me to let me know how he felt about our time together.  His response was, “I wish she could be my grandmother!”  At first, I was taken aback.  To be honest it made me feel old that that was what he shared, but then I was flattered.  I would be honored to be his grandmother!  Then a few weeks later I sort of blew it!

Every week Noah and I each brought a word to start off our session.  It could be a word that we thought was interesting or funny or taught us something new.  Well, on that particular day he didn’t have a word so I said, “You know you can play with words, too.”  He gave me a confused look.  

I told him that when I was young one of my aunts used to always say, “You have freckles on you, but you're pretty” or you could say, “You have freckles on your butt, you're pretty.”  As soon as it came out of my mouth, I knew I shouldn’t have said it!  I grew up thinking it was funny.  My grandchildren think it is hilarious but this little guy looked at me like, I can’t believe Mrs. Boggess just said that!

When his mom came to the door, I sent my student on to the car and I said, “I have a confession to make to you.  I think of Noah as one of my grandchildren and I crossed a line today.  I shared what had happened and the look that was on his face and she busted up laughing.  She hugged me and said, “You are so ok!” and then she laughed some more.

In the whole scheme of things, that was nothing but it reminded me of the impression I can make and how careful I have to be.  I will make lastly imprints no matter what so I need to make sure they are good ones.  One of my favorite verses is, 

Remember those who led you

who spoke the word of God to you;

and considering the result of their conduct, 

imitate their faith.

Hebrews 13:7 (NASB)

My faith needs to be worthy of being imitated.  I try to remember that when I walk into a classroom, when I talk on the phone to my daughters and when I spend time with my grandchildren.  Is my faith worthy of being imitated?

In Luke 6:40, we are reminded of our responsibility,

A disciple is not above his teacher, 

but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher.

I have to ask myself, "Do I want my students to be like me?"  This strictness I am held to is an honor and an honor I take seriously.

The Final Goodbye

We said goodbye when Mom no longer could understand driving, money, or how to get out of her apartment.  We said goodbye when she left adulthood, young adulthood, the teenage years and  even childhood.  We said goodbye when she no longer knew us or the grandchildren or the great-grandchildren.  We have said many goodbyes as we have walked the road of dementia with my mother-in-law but this last goodbye leaves me speechless.

Over the last twelve years we have been called to run to Mom's bedside to say goodbye but she remained strong.  For a number of years we made certain decisions based on being afraid to leave town because we wanted to be there for her if she passed.  After three years of end stage dementia, the time has now come and it just doesn't seem real.

When my father-in-law died suddenly in a car accident, the emotions were overwhelming.  When my father died nine days after a diagnosis of cancer, I didn't think I would ever stop crying or feel "normal" again.  This loss is different and hard to work through the feelings.  It feels like Mom passed away three years ago and we went to the funeral home several days a week to make preparations and it is only now that we can have her memorial.  She was in a fetal position, weighing between 65 and 70 pounds for the last three years, unable to speak.  

It will take me weeks, months or possibly years to process this goodbye.  I have not cried as much as I thought I would but my stomach is all in knots.  I am glad she is no longer suffering but I sure will miss her presence on this earth and in our lives.  She added so much love and laughter.

Bill and I have been through a number of scenarios with aging parents and loss.  Each of them have been hard in different ways.  We will be teaching our course, "Aging Parents and Loss" at the end of October and early November at our church.  We look forward to sharing the things we have learned along the way and the opportunity to come alongside others walking the same road.  There are many sorrows to walk through but many joys to embrace.  If you are on this journey and need someone to listen, feel free to reach out to us at gracewithoutmargins@aol.com.