A Different Kind of Christmas

One evening in October Bill and I were sitting around with the kids talking about how hard it has been to loose family members the week of Thanksgiving.  This Christmas we would be missing another family member, my brother.  We were talking about how hard it was to find the magic of Christmas and reminisced about Christmas in Colorado where Bill and I grew up and gave birth to our children.  We spontaneously decided to book flights that night while the tickets were cheap.  It was a little challenging for Bill since no other plans were made, but we quickly talked him into it.  

A couple of weeks later our son-in-law was in a tragic car accident and was in a coma and ICU for several weeks.  As the weeks passed it was hard to think about going to Colorado and it especially was for Sarah.  Clay was now out of the coma and ICU and had been moved to a rehabilitation center.  Everyone thought it would be good for Sarah and Chloe to go relax and play in the snow for a few days, so reluctantly she decided to go.  

There was a lot of preparation getting ready for the trip but finally all eight of us were on a plane.  I took a deep breath and relaxed.  Jack, our 2 year-old grandson is quite a seasoned traveler and for Chloe, our 2 year-old granddaughter, this would be her first plane ride.

We were welcomed to Colorado by my sweet brother and his wife and headed for Estes Park the next day.  When I am in the Rocky Mountains it always feels like God is standing there waiting to say hello. The mountains show so many sides of God.  They show His majesty, power, and beauty to name a few.  We spent a wonderful week shopping, eating great food, playing in the snow, snow shoeing and visiting friends.  One of the highlights of the trip was having coffee with one of my heroes, Les Avery.  He was the senior pastor of the church I grew up in.  He is 80 years old and took the gold this year in the Senior Olympics in biking.  He rides 150 miles a week.  He is such an inspiration!!

We bought a few little surprises this year but other than that, we really didn't buy presents.  The trip was the present for everyone.  This made the Christmas process very relaxing.  We are home now and it is Christmas Eve.  It does feel a little strange to not be opening presents in the morning but our focus this year has been a lot more meaningful.

This morning I spent a relaxing morning running some errands with my daughter and granddaughter.  This afternoon Bill and I went to visit with his mother who is suffering from Alzheimer's.  She spent most of her visit talking to her imaginary friends but she was happy and that makes us happy.  Sarah was having a hard day so we went out for a nice dinner and then she went to be with Clay while we took Chloe to church to sing about Jesus and watch it snow.  My sweet Chloe loves to go to church and loves to pray.  She often says, "MeMe pray Daddy's boo boo's."  We always stop whatever we are doing and pray for her daddy's boo boo's.

Tonight some friends of Sarah are over playing games and we are cooking breakfast for tomorrow morning.  Tomorrow we won't be getting up to a house full of presents and people but we will be taking breakfast to Clay's family and the wonderful therapists taking care of him.  It is a Christmas that we will never forget because so much has changed.  We know that you can't take anything for granted.  What matters the most is family and seeing each other through the tough times.

Tonight I am so grateful for all of the family memories made this Christmas.  I am thankful that our  daughter Bethany and her family were able to visit with Ed's family and they will be back soon.  I am thankful that Clay is doing so well and is getting stronger every day.  I am thankful for the strength I see in Sarah and I am especially thankful for Christ and His presence in my life, no matter what the circumstance.  

Have a wonderful Christmas and Happy Birthday, Jesus!

Communication Strategies

       In my last post we discussed different types of hearing loss and how it affects communication.  In this post we will talk more about communication strategies.  As the holidays are rapidly approaching and we spend time around more groups of people in a variety of settings, we all encounter more background noise.

     With people who have hearing loss having communication difficulties in large groups is very common.  It is important to remember that communication is a "two way street".   There are two primary "rules of thumb" to keep in mind.  Number one, try to keep the background noise to a minimum.  People with hearing loss have trouble sorting out what they want to hear from background noise.  At home this is easy, simply mute the TV or turn off the music or dishwasher to communicate.  Out in public or in larger groups it is more difficult, however, to control background noise.  You want to manipulate the environment to give you the best chance of hearing.  You do not want to be in the middle of the group.  Get off to one side of the group and get the majority of noise behind you or get around a corner if possible.  This allows your pinnas or ears to reduce the sound coming from behind you and enhance the sound in front of you.  Number two, always make sure you can see the speakers face.  Again a person with a hearing loss has difficulty hearing certain speech sounds that are important for understanding speech like, F, S SH etc.  These speech sounds, however, are the easiest sounds in our language to lip read.

     Hopefully these strategies will improve communication for everyone. As always,  questions or comments are always welcome.

William J. Boggess, M.S.

Types of Hearing Loss

I thought it might be time to take advantage of my husband Bill's knowledge and understanding.  Bill has been an audiologist for the last 27 years and has worked in clinic and hospital settings.  He counsels  families on dealing with hearing loss and how to improve communication within the family.

On a personal note, my father lived with a moderate hearing loss in his later years.  He struggled with dinner conversation and often would just withdraw because it was so much work to hear the conversation.  He avoided restaurants that were loud for years.  As I get older and have started having problems with the same type of hearing loss, I can appreciate how Dad felt.

So many of you will be gathered around parents, relatives, and friends that suffer from mild to severe hearing loss during the holidays.  I thought it might be helpful for Bill to share some information and strategies for individuals and families that are affected by hearing loss.

Types of Hearing Loss

By Bill Boggess

I thought for this first post we could review hearing loss since there are many types and degrees of hearing loss that will affect different people in different ways.  There are three types of hearing loss, conductive, sensorineural and mixed (both conductive, sensorineural).  A conductive hearing loss is a hearing loss due to a mechanical problem with the ear, such as ear wax or fluid behind the ear drum - something that interferes with the sound being sent to the inner ear.  This particular type of hearing loss affects communication strictly by reducing the volume of speech.  Speech is not distorted, just heard softer than normal.

The second type of hearing loss is a sensorineural hearing loss.  This is the most common kind of hearing loss.  This type of hearing loss is typically permanent and is sometimes referred to as a "nerve type hearing loss".  There are many causes of this type of hearing loss including hereditary factors, noise exposure and general health conditions such as diabetes.  This type of hearing loss can affect different pitches to varying degrees.  For example, if the hearing loss is in the higher pitches (treble region) someone will hear the volume of speech fine but may not be able to understand what is being said.

Now, because this type of hearing loss is in the inner ear, the inner ear may loose some of its' "fine tuning" capability.  Under these circumstances,  if someone is talking too fast, the person with the hearing loss will not be able to understand what is being said, or foreign accents can be difficult to understand and more commonly the individual will have trouble understanding speech in large groups or a lot of background noise.  So, certain environments can be more difficult than others so hearing may appear inconsistent.  Finally, the inner ear can sometimes distort speech significantly.  Under these circumstances the person will need to see the speakers face to have the best opportunity to understand.

The last type of hearing loss is a mixed hearing loss and is a combination of the first two.  Because it is  mixed you have all factors of hearing loss come into play in terms of communication.

In our next post we will discuss rehabilitation options and communication strategies for people with various types of hearing loss.

Thank You For Praying

Dear Friends,

It has been awhile since I last posted.  I am so sorry.  We have been trying to adjust to our new "normal" and sometimes that takes awhile.  Our son-in-law is gradually improving.  We are so grateful for all of your prayers and support.

Clay was in a terrible car accident on November 10 and broke three places in his neck, along with several breaks in the skull and along the spine.  When he was taken to the hospital he was in a coma.  We are three weeks out now and he is showing movement on both sides, is following commands, is swallowing, breathing on his own, sticking his tongue out, and starting to mouth words.  We are so grateful for the improvements he has made.  It truly is a miracle!

It has struck me that disabilities and challenges can affect your family at any time.  All of the things Bill and I have communicated in our trainings are repeating in my mind.  God is in control.  He has a special plan and a purpose for all of us.  God can use our greatest weakness to bring glory to himself.  Look at the person, not the disability.  Celebrate the things we can do on a day to day basis.

I am proud of all the hard work Clay has done to become stronger and overcome the obstacles in front of him.  I am proud of Sarah for being right there by his side to encourage him and push him forward.  I am proud of Chloe for just seeing Daddy and giving him all of the love he needs.

Thank you for being there for our family and extending the love of Christ.  We appreciate your continued prayers for Clay and his family, Sarah and Chloe.

Blessings-

Deana

Why, God?

     It is 2:30 am and I can't sleep.  Just a month ago I was at a hospice center with my little brother and now I am in ICU with another family member.  So much of me is overwhelmed.  I feel as though I am continually having to shift gears because my life has changed in a matter of moments.  The pain and the losses seem unbearable at times.
     I must confess that I wonder, "Why, God?," a lot.  I don't understand why there is so much suffering in the world.  I don't know why my loved ones have to go through so much pain.  But I do know this ... God loves me, God loves you, and He desires for us to have a blessed life.
     I have so many blessings around me and I know that God continually goes before me, no matter what happens.  He will protect me, guide me, and love me no matter what.  I hold onto that every day.
     I am sure that my trials pale in comparison to some of yours.  I feel heavy hearted about the things some of you must be facing.  All I can say is, never let go of God.  He loves you with an everlasting love and has great plans for your life.  Don't be afraid to question Him, just be available to hear His answer.
     With much love....

Growing in Ministry

     It was 1995 and I was entering a new phase of my ministry journey.  I had no idea what I was doing but I did know that I was doing what God wanted me to do.  I was joining Bill in special needs ministry.  We had spent a lot of time looking back over our lives to see what God had prepared us to do and it became clear to us that we were prepared to serve in this way.
     On that first Sunday I walked down to a room that we set up for our handful of children affected by special needs.  We had a table, a few toys, a cabinet, a gate and a couple of volunteers. I had read a number of books about children with autism.  The books I had read years ago made autism sound hopeless and the children were unable to connect and love.  I had broadened my understanding in college as I went through some courses in Occupational Therapy but I still had a very limited view.
     On that first Sunday, however, my perspective and heart was changed forever because Michael had come into my life.  I was fascinated by Michael.  It was obvious that he was brilliant but it was also apparent that it would take some time to build a relationship with him.
     Michael seemed to be fine without me but I sure wanted a relationship with him.  He would walk around the room the whole hour repeating a phrase and moving his hand across his face.  He did this over and over again.  The first week I tried to talk to him but I mostly watched Michael.  He was happy. He was content.  He appeared to be in another world.
     After several weeks of trying to make conversation with him, it dawned on me that maybe I needed to enter his world before he would enter mine.  I sat down on the floor beside him and started repeating the words he was saying and mimicked his hand motions.  He immediately stopped and looked at me.  I felt like he was saying, "Hey, that is my gig!" That day, however, we made a connection.  From that day on, I always greeted him the same way with the same words and the same hand motion.  I entered his world and this opened the door for him to enter mine.
     Over the next several weeks our connection grew.  Then one Sunday he entered the room reciting a long list of names, ending with the name of a major motion picture company.  He was reciting all of the credits from a movie he had seen the night before.  I kept thinking about his incredible ability to memorize and thought, he could probably memorize scripture.  The next Sunday I started working with him on scripture memory and he was incredible.
     My friendship and love for Michael grew over time.  He was full of love, hope and tremendous abilities.  I loved Michael for the incredibly gifted person he was.  I also loved what he taught me about people.  If we are willing to step into another person's world for a little while, they will be more likely to enter into ours and we both just might learn something from each other.
     In the 16 years since then I have been blessed by friendships with a number of people with autism.  I will never be the same and that is what great friendships are all about.

Exciting Opportunities

     It has been a wonderfully busy day!  This morning Bill and I were able to thank a church for their continued love and support of children and families affected by special needs.  Only 5% of churches offer special needs ministry so it was exciting to thank them for welcoming all of God's children into the church family.  They have faithfully served for 17 years now!
     This afternoon we were able to attend the initial meeting for a church that desires to start a special needs ministry.  It was exciting to see six people attend with another three that couldn't make it.  What a great start  to getting such a vital ministry off the ground.  They were already planning to offer buddies for two hours and were dreaming about starting an evening of respite for families.
     I love that God lets us share in the celebration of seasoned ministries, as well as the excitement of brand new ones.  Thank you, God, for giving us front row seats to the great things you are doing in the churches in Austin.