When We Listen, We Change Ourselves

Many times in my adult life I have had people tell me that I am a really good listener.  At times I have been and I am certainly a better listener in my 50's than I was in my 20's. 

I have many regrets in my life when it comes to listening.  There are times I should have been more attentive to my husband telling me how his day was.  I should have listened more to my children as they were going through the teen years instead of worrying about being the perfect parent and keeping my attention there.  I should have been a better listener when I met new people, especially people that have lived a different life than I have.

A few years ago I started thinking about how to be a better listener and it has changed my life and my perspective on people.  I want to consider myself inclusive, but I am constantly reminded of the walls I still build up.  So I challenge myself periodically.  I challenge myself to find someone I don't understand and just sit down and listen to their journey. 

Over the last few years I have been blessed by the company of a variety of people and the more I listened to their story, the more I see what we have in common.  The more I listened to their heart, the more my heart changed. 

Over the last few years:

• I have visited with a young man affected by schizophrenia and bi-polar disorder. 
• I have played with a child with autism and listened to his laughter.
• I have asked a concentration camp survivor to share her story with me.
• I have spent an afternoon with a young man living with a traumatic brain injury.
• I have had a lovely conversation with someone that speaks a different language.
• I have listened to the perspectives of a democrat.
• I have listened to the perspectives of a republican.
• I have asked for advice from a child.
• I have asked someone that uses a wheelchair what are the most hurtful things people do as they interact with him.
• I have bought a meal for a stranger and asked them to tell me their story.

When we listen to others, the barriers are erased.  When we listen to someone else's story, they become a real person with real hurts and feelings.  When we listen, we change ourselves.

Who are you going to listen to this week?

12 More Days Until

Valentine's Day!

I love Valentine's Day!  Over the years Bill and I have often made Valentine's Day a little more like Christmas.    For years at Christmas time we sacrificed presents to each other to allow more budget to spoil the kids.  That meant Valentine's Day was all about spoiling each other!

A number of years have passed and more people have been added to the family.  I have a little more budget and a  little more time so my gift list in February has expanded over the years.

Remember grandma! I no longer have a living grandmother but I revived many memories as I wrote a book about grandmothers.  In the book I share stories and ask questions that will bring back memories for those that read it.  I also offer ideas on things to do with your grandchildren to create a lifelong imprint on their lives.

Give a special gift to your grandmother this Valentine's Day!  

1.  Buy a book and have each of the grandchildren write a note or letter to their grandmother in the front.  They can write what they love about her or a special memory they have.

2.  If you are expecting, buy your mother a book and write a letter in the front telling her why she will be an incredible grandmother or the special imprint she is already making.  

I have copies in my home and would be happy to bring you one or get it shipped off to you.  Email at gracewithoutmargins@aol.com.  You can also order through Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

Happy Valentine's Day!!