Walking Through Loss

     My heart is heavy tonight.  I feel like I am reliving my dad's death from ten years ago.  My dad's little brother died yesterday.  I miss him.  I miss my dad.  And I hurt for the family left behind.  

     One of the hardest things in life for me is knowing that someone I love is hurting and I can't do anything to "fix" it.  Even though I haven't seen my cousins and aunt in years, I love them with all my heart.

     At this point in my life I have experienced a number of losses:  three great-grandparents, four grandparents, my father-in-law, my dad, my brother-in-law, an uncle, a cousin, a brother, and numerous friends. Every loss is difficult and so many things will change, however, tonight I am reminded of all the things that have helped me.

1.  Know that the pain will subside, but it doesn't mean you love them less or miss them less.

2.  Don't avoid any emotion, walk right through the middle of it.  You will be better off in the long run.

3.  Do something that was meaningful to your loved one, whether it was buying a veteran lunch or      planting a tree.

4.  Spend time sharing memories with someone, maybe even look through pictures.  Yes, it will make you cry, but it may also be therapeutic.  

5.  Look through a loved one's drawer of treasures, thumb through their Bible, or do something else that would give you insight into your loved one that you wouldn't have otherwise.

6.  Think of something your loved one shared about someone else that was really positive.  Write or call that person and let them know what your loved one said.  It will make you both feel better.

7.  Allow yourself to be sad, but also allow yourself to be happy.

8.  Write about a few memories and share it with a family member.

9.  Read a book or watch a movie that was meaningful to your loved one.  Then think about ways you think the book or movie influenced their thinking.

10.  Turn to God for comfort.  God is the author of all things.  He understands life and He understands death.  Let His love surround you.

     Blessings to my family and friends that are hurting...