Since I have lived most of my life in Texas and Colorado I haven't spent much time looking at the ocean, but the times I have were memorable. I love looking at the ocean. It is beautiful. It is calming. It reminds me of the omnipotence of God.
As much as I love the ocean and as much as it calms me, I have to acknowledge the power of it. The tide can change so quickly...much like life can.
A few weekends ago Bill and I had lengthy to "do lists." On Saturday morning Bill and I had a little "pow wow" to determine what needed to get done before the weekend was over. This meant Bill and I needed to separate to "divide and conquer" the list.
On Saturday we felt good about everything that was accomplished. On Sunday we went to church with my mom and then out to lunch. He is always so sweet and wants to make sure everything else is done before he heads out to do what he loves. Bill loves to woodwork and has for the last 30 years. Mom and I had some errands to do and Bill was anxious to get to the wood shop to work on some projects.
Later in the afternoon I received a call from Bill. He calmly told me that he had cut his pinky off on the table saw and he was at the Emergency Room. He asked me to bring him a few things and have someone drive me over.
I was a little surprised by it all. I was upset that Bill had been hurt and lost a finger but I was relatively calm and gathered some things for him. When I arrived at the hospital I was surprised to see blood down his clothes and shoes, along with a great deal of tissue from his hand. I then realized the damage was more extensive than he had told me.
The surgeon unwrapped his hand. I sat down because I wasn't sure if I would faint or not. Then I decided to just move up to his head, hold his hand and kiss his forehead as the surgeon examined him. It was tempting to look but a good friend that was there with me advised me not to.
The surgeon said the damage was extensive and he was not sure how much he would be able to repair. He ended up cleaning the wound and closing it up for a orthopedic hand surgeon to repair the tendons and nerves.
The first surgery was 3 hours long and then we had to wait another 24 hours for a surgeon to do further surgery. During that time Bill kept reliving the accident. He replayed it over and over again.
He was making some final cuts on a project and the board kicked back on him and exploded. Within those few seconds the blade had gone completely around his hand, cutting almost everything in its path. He said it didn't hurt but there was blood pouring out of his hand, onto the table, and onto the floor. He quickly grabbed a rag and wrapped his hand, called 911 and told them what had happened He looked around for his finger because he had heard it fall. He wasn't sure if there was one or two missing. He wrapped his finger up and then went outside in case he fainted. He wanted to be sure the EMT's could find him.
My reaction to the situation was different. To be honest my immediate reaction was, "Haven't we been through enough trials lately?" And soon after, I felt peace and thought, "But God has seen you through every one of them and He will with this too."
I was flooded with gratefulness for who Bill is. Bill is a servant hearted man. Nothing important is left undone. Bill is always helping one of us. He has made so many beautiful things in our 30 years together. When we didn't have money to buy furniture Bill found a way to make it. He would take old pieces of furniture and remake them for us. He made beautiful gifts for family members. He was an experienced craftsman and now in a matter of moments things had changed.
On the day of surgery the surgeon prepared me for the worst case scenario. She believed that every tendon and every nerve had been cut, as well as the muscle in his thumb and an artery. She believed the damage was to bad to repair the tendons and nerves yet. They would have to put in spacers in the hand and graft tendons from his wrists or the back of his knees at a later date. She said they would put in tubes for the nerves to grow through. She said this would take about 6 hours.
Then she added another concern. She felt the artery was damaged enough that she would have to repair it and reroute the arteries in his hand. This would take 12 hours.
I was incredibly grateful that the blood supply had remained intact, otherwise he would have lost all of his fingers. So many things could have been so much worse. He had his life and he had his hand. The damage was not as extensive as she prepared me for. He was in surgery for nine hours.
I wondered how much function Bill would have. Would he be able to do the things he loves again. Could we adapt his bike? Would he be able to type again? How would this affect his job that utilizes his hands so much?
We are currently in a waiting period. Bill needs to lay low for a while...don't move his fingers....don't sweat (lol)....don't exert himself. The surgeon said he will recover with 70% of his strength, will probably be able to tell the difference between hot and cold and anything else will be a blessing.
So we read Occupational Therapy magazines, articles on the internet, and ask professionals lots of questions. He has ordered several devices to help him do his job....just differently. I can think of so many people that have more challenging disabilities and it has helped me appreciate the daily struggles they have to endure to accomplish a task that the rest of us take for granted. They have also been a source of inspiration, however. As the saying goes, "When there is a will, there is a way." Bill has now learned to peel a banana one-handed, dress himself one-handed and write left-handed.
Even though things are different and still up in the air, we are so incredibly grateful. We are grateful for every body part we have ever taken for granted. We are grateful for the numerous people that have helped us with things we didn't even know we would need help with. We are grateful for God and His presence in our lives. We hope this experience will ultimately bring glory to Him.
