A Picture of Hope

     This picture evokes all sorts of emotions for me.  It makes me happy.  It makes me sad.  It makes me feel helpless and it gives me hope.

     It makes me happy because here are two people affected by disabilities loving each other in the best way they can.  Barbara can no longer hold a conversation but she can laugh and she can affectionately touch her son.  Bill can't fix everything for his mom but just by his presence and the touch of his hand she can feel secure and cared for.

     It makes me sad because this is a picture of two people that I love very much.  Barbara is facing intellectual challenges and Bill is facing physical ones and there is nothing I can do about it.  That makes me sad.

     I consequently feel helpless.  Dementia has stolen so much from Barbara...her memories, her dreams, and her independence.  No matter how hard I try, I cannot give those back to her.  As for Bill, it breaks my heart that the man I love has to struggle with tasks that we all take for granted. He will have to relearn so many skills.

     Yet overall, this picture gives me hope.  A few minutes before this picture was taken Barbara was upset and afraid and as soon as Bill came up to her, started talking and rubbing her back, she smiled and started swinging her legs.  She felt loved and secure.  Dementia patients may not remember a person or recognize them but they can remember how the person made them feel.  In her world where so many things no longer make sense, she can still feel Bill's love for her and her love for him and that gives me hope.