Friday, July 29, 2016

In The Margins

Life in the margins.  I don't even begin to think that I can truly understand the pain of being in the margins as someone with a disability, as someone that has a past that continues to follow them, or as someone that is labeled as different than the current perception of perfection.  I do, however, know the loneliness of the margins of my own particular story.

The fabric was corduroy and it was lined with another fabric.  It was big.  It was bulky.  It was heavy but that was what I chose to wear at school everyday because it was big enough to hide behind.  I had a wonderful childhood.  My mother encouraged me to believe in myself and know I had the ability to accomplish whatever I wanted.  My father gave me the fairy tale relationship that every little girl dreams of...he treated me like a princess and told me I was beautiful on a daily basis.  Those were beautiful relationships but there was a time in my life that I let the voices outside my home be louder and I found safety behind a big bulky coat.

In the dark trials of my life, the margins I lived in seemed wider and farther away from the center of life.  I lived in those margins because I wanted to be in control of other people's perceptions of me.  I didn't want to burden anyone and I guess I knew that eventually those trials would come to a close.  The margins would narrow until I was in the mainstream again.

I am grateful for the "margin healers" that would wander onto my path.  To the third grade teacher that got me out of that silly coat, I am forever grateful.  In fact I looked her up 35 years later and drove to Dallas to thank her.

I am also thankful for the few people I have let into my struggles.  They walked the margins with me because they were going through their own pain, or in some way, were familiar with the walk of the margins.

I have been working on a training in which I will share my story and I am asking dear friends of mine to share theirs as well.  At times I feel like I am being unfair to myself and to them, yet it is in the margins of our own story that we can truly rely on and grow in our faith.

The other day I asked my sweet little grandson if he has asked Jesus to live in his heart and he said, "Oh yes!"  He then asked how you get someone else to want Jesus to live in theirs.  I told him to pray every day for them and to keep walking the road he is on.  People will see your faith.  People will see your joy.  You just have to keep walking and always be ready to stop and listen.

At different times in our lives we may find ourselves in the margins, sometimes because we have chosen to be there, sometimes to be a "margin healer" and sometimes to be reminded of where we  came from.  The loneliness of the margins can also be healing...like sitting on the rocks and watching the ocean waves come in.  It is there that you can see the wonder and the power of God.

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Walk The Road With Them

Oh I try not to take anything for granted but today I am especially aware of all of my blessings.  This morning I was able to hold my new grandson and just marvel at the beautiful miracle he is.  I was able to spend the afternoon and evening "walking the road" with my older grandchildren who are so precious to me.

When I was a little girl I remember going to my grandmother's house in the summer.  We would go to bed early and I would fall asleep listening to her tell me stories in bed.  We would get up early in the morning, before the sun was even up, to get ready to go to work.  My grandmother worked in a flower shop and it was an honor to get up early and go with her.

She would share so many things about life with me as we would wrap stems, arrange flowers, and help customers.  I found out many years later that she would get up even earlier than I knew about to pray for all of her children, grandchildren, and eventually, great-grandchildren.  Grandma "walked the road" with me.

I remember in high school, leaving my house just before 6:00 in the evening to meet my dad at the bus stop so I could walk the rest of the way home with him.  He would share stories with me about people with disabilities that wanted and needed jobs but employers just looked at their limitations rather than their gifts and talents.  He taught me how to come up with "reasonable accommodations" so they could be employed and share those gifts.  Dad "walked the road" with me.

I certainly tried to walk the road with my children and I enjoy it even more now having adult children.  We have so many interests and aspirations that are similar.  When I walk the road with my grandchildren it is like lying in the grass looking at the moon and the stars and dreaming of all kinds of amazing things.  I love sharing about life and people with them and seeing the legacy of their ancestors playing out in their hearts.

We have the wonderful opportunity to teach our children about love and not hate, grace and not judgment, inclusion and not separation.  All we have to do is "walk the road" with them.


Deuteronomy 6:4-9New International Version (NIV)

4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.[a] 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.