Life in the margins. I don't even begin to think that I can truly understand the pain of being in the margins as someone with a disability, as someone that has a past that continues to follow them, or as someone that is labeled as different than the current perception of perfection. I do, however, know the loneliness of the margins of my own particular story.
The fabric was corduroy and it was lined with another fabric. It was big. It was bulky. It was heavy but that was what I chose to wear at school everyday because it was big enough to hide behind. I had a wonderful childhood. My mother encouraged me to believe in myself and know I had the ability to accomplish whatever I wanted. My father gave me the fairy tale relationship that every little girl dreams of...he treated me like a princess and told me I was beautiful on a daily basis. Those were beautiful relationships but there was a time in my life that I let the voices outside my home be louder and I found safety behind a big bulky coat.
In the dark trials of my life, the margins I lived in seemed wider and farther away from the center of life. I lived in those margins because I wanted to be in control of other people's perceptions of me. I didn't want to burden anyone and I guess I knew that eventually those trials would come to a close. The margins would narrow until I was in the mainstream again.
I am grateful for the "margin healers" that would wander onto my path. To the third grade teacher that got me out of that silly coat, I am forever grateful. In fact I looked her up 35 years later and drove to Dallas to thank her.
I am also thankful for the few people I have let into my struggles. They walked the margins with me because they were going through their own pain, or in some way, were familiar with the walk of the margins.
I have been working on a training in which I will share my story and I am asking dear friends of mine to share theirs as well. At times I feel like I am being unfair to myself and to them, yet it is in the margins of our own story that we can truly rely on and grow in our faith.
The other day I asked my sweet little grandson if he has asked Jesus to live in his heart and he said, "Oh yes!" He then asked how you get someone else to want Jesus to live in theirs. I told him to pray every day for them and to keep walking the road he is on. People will see your faith. People will see your joy. You just have to keep walking and always be ready to stop and listen.
At different times in our lives we may find ourselves in the margins, sometimes because we have chosen to be there, sometimes to be a "margin healer" and sometimes to be reminded of where we came from. The loneliness of the margins can also be healing...like sitting on the rocks and watching the ocean waves come in. It is there that you can see the wonder and the power of God.
The fabric was corduroy and it was lined with another fabric. It was big. It was bulky. It was heavy but that was what I chose to wear at school everyday because it was big enough to hide behind. I had a wonderful childhood. My mother encouraged me to believe in myself and know I had the ability to accomplish whatever I wanted. My father gave me the fairy tale relationship that every little girl dreams of...he treated me like a princess and told me I was beautiful on a daily basis. Those were beautiful relationships but there was a time in my life that I let the voices outside my home be louder and I found safety behind a big bulky coat.
In the dark trials of my life, the margins I lived in seemed wider and farther away from the center of life. I lived in those margins because I wanted to be in control of other people's perceptions of me. I didn't want to burden anyone and I guess I knew that eventually those trials would come to a close. The margins would narrow until I was in the mainstream again.
I am grateful for the "margin healers" that would wander onto my path. To the third grade teacher that got me out of that silly coat, I am forever grateful. In fact I looked her up 35 years later and drove to Dallas to thank her.
I am also thankful for the few people I have let into my struggles. They walked the margins with me because they were going through their own pain, or in some way, were familiar with the walk of the margins.
I have been working on a training in which I will share my story and I am asking dear friends of mine to share theirs as well. At times I feel like I am being unfair to myself and to them, yet it is in the margins of our own story that we can truly rely on and grow in our faith.
The other day I asked my sweet little grandson if he has asked Jesus to live in his heart and he said, "Oh yes!" He then asked how you get someone else to want Jesus to live in theirs. I told him to pray every day for them and to keep walking the road he is on. People will see your faith. People will see your joy. You just have to keep walking and always be ready to stop and listen.
At different times in our lives we may find ourselves in the margins, sometimes because we have chosen to be there, sometimes to be a "margin healer" and sometimes to be reminded of where we came from. The loneliness of the margins can also be healing...like sitting on the rocks and watching the ocean waves come in. It is there that you can see the wonder and the power of God.
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