Heroes Through All Stages of Life

What a powerful picture this is for me and I hope it will be to you...

This is my father's grave.  He passed away 15 1/2 years ago from Multiple Myeloma.  Dad served in the Korean War.  His main responsibility was to identify the dead.  Dad served in small towns in Texas during the 60's, trying to bridge the gap between the church and the acceptance of minorities.  He served in the Food For Peace program, trying to bridge the gap between resources and the poor.  He served as a teacher in the prison system, trying to bridge the gap between the opportunity for education and the incarcerated.  He served as Deputy Director of Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, trying to bridge the gap between employment and equal employment and wages for all people.  When Dad retired he tried to close the gap between exposure to church and a true walk with the Lord.  He served our country in powerful ways.

Also in this picture is my mom.  Mom tried to clear any obstacle in the way for my dad to serve in the ways he felt called to.  As a mother, Mom tried to clear any obstacle that would limit the success and opportunities for her children.  Mom served on the PTA and ran for Country Commissioner to support schools and her community.  She continued her education so she could serve in the church as a pastor and encourage people to understand what following Christ really means.  Mom served gang members with grace and she led Bible studies with women that were incarcerated.  Mom is almost 80 and continues to serve as a Stephen's Minister and continually looks for people that are in the margins in her community.  I know she struggles with what this stage of life means for her, but she is continually focused on the inclusion and support of those around her.  

When my mom saw this picture she said, "I am getting old!"  I don't see the white hair or the changes in mobility in this picture.  I see years and years of wisdom.  I see the sacrifices both of my parents made over the years.  I see the example they set for the rest of us.  The picture reminds me of all of the people they have helped out of the margins of society.

It was an honor to take Mom to Dad's grave yesterday.  I have to admit we don't go very often.  Before Dad passed he told me he didn't want me spending time there because that is not where he would be.  I do want to get back over and put new flowers in the vase but I know, and he knows, he is in my heart, all day and every day.  I often ask myself, who would Dad want me to help today and we do it together.  Mom and Dad, thank you for being such great heroes to me.

"A hero is someone who has given his or her life 

to something bigger than oneself."

– Joseph Campbell

Pray? Hope? Do something?

The last several months have been challenging for me.  Things were going so well in ministry and suddenly it felt like God unplugged me.   There were less calls...e-mails...connections.  It was a sad time for me because I care so deeply about people left in the margins, specifically those with a disability that are in the margins.  My closest friends could see my anguish but I don't know that they understood it.

I had passion.  I had commitment.  I had time.  God wanted me to be still.  As a dear friend told me, "Relax and enjoy your children and grandchildren and wait for God's timing."  Being a woman that always has a cause and a goal, that is tough.

In the last several weeks my view of who is in the margins has expanded.  Youth struggling with their sexual identity are in the margins...and so are their parents.  Youth struggling with mental illness are in the margins...and so are their parents.  Youth that, for whatever reason, have made a decision to attack their school and take the lives of their peers have been in the margins.  I cannot even fathom the feelings of their parents.  They are incredibly alone in their pain.  Please know I am not making light of those choices, they are heart-breaking, but I do think about the marginalization that got them there.

I don't know what God's plans are for me but I keep thinking about what I can do.  The situation with our schools is tragic and URGENT.  Prayer is a powerful tool.  Hope is a powerful tool as well but as my daughter has on her Facebook wall, "Hope doesn't get the job done."

My intent is not to get political or choose a side. As a country we are all heart-broken over the loss of life in our schools and the lingering fear of more.  We can pray, we can hope, but we can also do something.

I know for me, I am making a commitment to engage with people more.  Some of our high school students are so in the margins that they are never greeted, included in a group or invited anywhere.  I will never forget the young man that lived across the street.  He always had his head hanging low and was dressed in dark clothing.  I told him hello once but I never had a conversation with him.  He committed suicide.  Shame on me for never extending myself to him.  What deep regrets I have!

I am working on a plan, but in the meantime, I plan to pay more attention and reach out to those around me.  I have to educate myself a little more and meet with a few people but I will let you know how God's plan unfolds.  In the meantime, think about what you can do.  Always remember there must be grace in the margins, just as grace has been extended to each of us.

The Gift Exchange

I have been working on another book for about a year.  Hopefully I will finish it someday soon.  I share the following excerpt because it is how I feel about all children and even adults.  We have something to offer everyone in our classroom.  

Then comes the moment we have all been waiting for, the first day of school.  I have on my new outfit that I hope looks professional, yet relaxed and fun.  One-by-one 15 little personalities come into my classroom.  Some are shy and stand behind their mommas.  Some are bold and race through the classroom checking out the toys.  And some of them, well, they check me out wondering what I will be like.  Why do I have “white” hair?   And why can’t they have the same teacher they had last year?

On that special day one, though, as the kids enter my classroom I have one thought in mind, “What do they need from me?”  I will not treat them all the same because they will all need something different from me.  There will be the little boy that is afraid to speak in front of people.  There will be the little girl whose parents are going through tough financial times.  There will be the shy little boy that just needs someone to “get him,” and the little girl that needs someone to tell her on a daily basis that she is as smart as anyone else in the classroom.  They will all need something different.

I like to think of myself as having a bag full of gifts and I have something special in my bag for each student in my class.  My job is to figure out which gift they need from the bag in order to grow, gain confidence, and become all that God has designed them to be.

Whether you are in an educational classroom or a ministry classroom, the "gift exchange" can be life-changing for the teacher and the student.