Every Little Girl Needs An Aunt Judy

Yesterday was a really hard day for me.   I think very few people can understand how hard it was for me to loose one of the most important women in my life.

I was around four years-old when Judy came into my life.  She was married to my uncle earlier but she became part of my life as they divorced.  Judy was a beautiful lady in every sense of the word.  She had the prettiest, softest skin, she was both gracious and graceful, and she was very stylish.  As a five year-old I loved to watch her put on make-up and put "Dippity Doo" in her hair.  

While we lived in Washington, D.C. at the same time, she would take me to see musicals and she cultivated my love for Julie Andrews through "The Sound of Music" and "Mary Poppins."  We stayed in touch over the years even though we no longer lived in the same city.  I would send her letters and she would send me letters with pictures of her family.  It was impressive to watch her develop her career and then develop her family.  

When I was 18 I saved up enough money to visit her in D.C.  It was great seeing her so happy and I loved watching her as a young mom.  We talked about all of the ups and downs of life and shared many special moments.  We concluded my time with her taking me to see "A Chorus Line."

Judy and I continued to stay in touch.  I shared all of the big events of my life with her, the blessings and the challenges.  She was always a good listener and encourager.  She supported me through college, marriage, raising my children, and through developing and pursuing my dreams.

When my father died my mother graciously gave us some money to spend however we wanted to.  I wanted to give our children the experience of Washington, D.C.  My children were 13 and 16 and I wanted them to love the city as much as I did.  When I was planning the trip Judy offered for us to stay with her and her husband.  I wanted my girls to know Judy as much as Washington.  They instantly loved her.

I was able to see her one more time a number of years later.  This time Bill and I were able to enjoy a dinner out and share all of the memories of the past.   We also talked about family and our faiths. 

Judy has been a powerful influence on me as a woman and I cherish every moment I have had with her, whether it was in person or on the phone.  I can imagine the tender kiss Christ gave Judy as He welcomed her home.  

I will miss being able to pick up the phone and call Judy tremendously.  I love her so, so much.  My only hope is that I can be the same kind of role model she has been to me.  

With all my love, Judy...

Firmly Planted

January 1, 2017, who knows what it will bring.  My sweet daughter Bethany bought me my new planner for Christmas.  My planner is expensive, $50 to be exact, but I love it.  It helps me set goals, how I am going to meet those goals, and evaluates my progress.  It was a sacrifice for her but she is always so supportive of my goals and aspirations and understands my need for certain tools.

I have spent a portion of today thinking through my goals for 2017.  It is always a delicate balance between being a planner and letting God have the reins.  I always try to keep moving forward knowing that at any moment I may need to let go or change course.

The sermon today at church struck me.  We are always surprised by trials.  We don't anticipate them, we don't expect them, and we are shocked when they hit.  Why am I surprised?  Why do I sometimes react with, "Did I do something wrong?" or "Why is God not there?"  We know that in this world we will have trials.  We know there will be heartache.  Our job is to be ready when the storms come.  I have had many trials over the years.  Sadly, even though many of those have been tragic, they are common and have been a part of many people's journey.

For 2017 I am changing my focus on a few things.

• Understand that the storms will come.  Don't be surprised by them.
• Be ready for the storms and have my feet firmly planted.
• Keep holding God's hand. 
• Look for ways for any trial to bring others closer to God.
• When the storm runs out of rain, stop, listen and marvel at how God has brought me through the storm.
• Lastly, don't let the storms cloud the days that are sunny.  Yes, we will have trials, but we will also have many, many sunny days ahead.

Austin Special Needs Ministry Directors and Volunteers

It has been a privilege and a blessing to meet with Austin special needs ministry directors for the last four months.  We are a small group of committed, humble, compassionate people growing in our understanding and support of those challenged by special needs.  As a group we represent a variety of faith expressions, suburban and urban locations, young and old congregations, as well as a variety of financial and ethnicity backgrounds.  I absolutely love it!!

We discuss a variety of topics related to special needs and share as many ideas as we can so we don't have to "reinvent the wheel" over and over again.  I am grateful for the millennials in the group that have set up a google drive to share ideas on!

If you live in the Austin area and serve the special needs community, we would love to have you join us.  We meet every first Monday from 11 am - 1 pm in the For The City Center 500 East St. Johns Ave Austin, Texas 78752.

On January 2 we will have a special speaker, Jeannette Holahan, Education Co-Chair for DSACT.  She will share spiritual and education tips for working with students with Down Syndrome.  She has a great wealth of knowledge as a professional and as an incredible mom.

If you would like to join us, contact Deana Boggess at theboggi@aim.com.

A Shot of Hope

A week ago I was in need of a shot of hope.  Thankfully I have numerous friends on standby.  Last week a dear friend and mentor sent me just what I needed.

I have known Sally for more than forty years.  God has woven our hearts tighter over the last year.  Both of our lives have been transposed and blessed by friends impacted by disabilities.  I have been involved in disability ministry in the United States and Sally has in Rwanda and the United States.

Recently I have been on a lengthy reading binge.  I mostly love to read real stories about real people and how they navigate the struggles and joys in life.  I had decided my next book, however, would be a more intellectual book and had just cracked the binding when frederick: A Story of Boundless Hope by Frederick Ndabaramiye and Amy Parker arrived from Sally.  I immediately started reading and only put it down once or twice before I finished it.  A tough story with a beautiful ending.

Frederick was a survivor of the genocide that occurred in Rwanda in the 1990's.  A genocide so horrific and of such unimaginable magnitude, yet so recent we can reach back and touch it.  The extent of evil that our world is capable of is heartbreaking, yet the endless possibilities of hope presented by people like Frederick is compelling, compelling enough to help us realize the healing power of hope.

Over the years I have read numerous books about the challenges of disabilities and each of them have taught me something new.  Frederick has touched my soul.  It is the story of a boy who suffered huge heartache but as a man turned the experience into an unstoppable power of hope, a hope that has changed hundreds, if not thousands, of lives.

If you are in need of a shot of hope, I highly recommend this book.  If you serve in disability ministry, this book needs to be on your shelf and in your heart!  This book has added another dimension to my understanding of hope in the midst of adversity.

Here is the link to purchase:   http://www.thomasnelson.com/frederick.  

Here are additional links to Frederick's story:

https://iamableucc.wordpress.com/meet-frederick/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPPSCFyVLY0

One Messy Room With No Compartments

Today I am returning e-mails, blogging, preparing a presentation, and proofing a manuscript. Of course just outside my office the dishes, the laundry, the toilets, and the errands are calling my name, desperately wanting my attention.

Most mornings I start my day with a cup of tea, look over my planner to see what I have going on for the day, and then I make my "To Do" list.  One particular task has been bumped to the next day for weeks now...cleaning my office.

I haven't decided whether I will post a picture of my office or not.  I have a lot of pride when it comes to people seeing the messy part of me.  Sometimes I fantasize about having an office that looks like one you would see in a model home but I love everything in here and well, that makes it messy.

On my bookshelves you can see the history of my life.  There are books from every stage:  children's books, Bibles I used from youth until now, Bible studies with all of my thoughts and responses, books God has asked me to write, and photo albums containing all of my memories.  I also have an entire shelf full of journals I have filled over the years.

On the walls of my office I of course have words that make me happy, certificates that make me feel like I am getting somewhere, copies of checks that help me remember, letters from friends that challenge me, pictures from kids that inspire me, and a collage of calendars and maps that keep me organized.  Leaning against the wall are projects I am currently working on.  In front of me is a long line of pictures of my grandkids because they are the joy in my life.  And lastly, in the corner of my desk is a jar with a butterfly in it.  It is a continual reminder to me that with God as our guide, we can all help change the world and the "Butterfly Effect" will be amazing.

Well, it is time to face those things that are calling my name.  For a moment I thought I would clean this room up today and clear some things out.  I think it may just have to stay the way it is, however.  It is similar to my mind...one big room full of ideas, inspirations and "want to's"...with no compartments.

When Does Ministry Start?

I communicate with special needs ministries around the country.  We have a variety of conversations on numerous topics.  We talk about why we should serve the special needs community, models of ministry, concerns in ministry, how to get the leadership and congregation on board, and the first steps to getting started.

The conversations over the last two weeks prompt me to answer the question, "When Does Ministry Start?"  I want to think it is a fairly simple question with a simple answer but I don't think it is to everyone.

I have had people share they have 10 to 20 people in their congregation with a special need but they don't have a special needs ministry.  They wonder if they should start one.  Actually, they already have a special needs ministry in the best form possible.  In some ways, this is the goal a number of large structured ministries are trying to reach.    

If there are people in your congregation, awesome!  You have a ministry!  If there are people in your congregation that have challenges, awesome!  You have people...people that you are ministering to.  If we get to the place where everyone, regardless of their abilities or disabilities, is welcomed, valued, and serving in ministry, fabulous!  You have an amazing church!

Ministry starts the moment we are welcoming people into the church.  Facilities, structure, volunteers, and even money help in ministry for sure.  But when I picture Jesus on the hillside with children gathered around Him, that is ministry in its truest form.  No buddies, no walls, no rules...just sitting at the feet of Jesus, serving and loving one another.

Now, I am also a realist.  Sometimes structure helps us to minister to more people more effectively.  We need to remember that is not when ministry starts, however.  Open the doors to the church,  open the doors to your heart, and that is when it starts.

Parenting: Looking Back

As I knelt down by my grandson's bed tonight I prayed over him, just as I pray for my other grandchildren.  I pray for them just as I did for their mommas as they were growing up.  

As the age of 60 is seeming younger and younger, I realize how much I am aging.  I can get depressed by the changes ahead but sometimes I just sit in gratitude for the lessons each one of my grey hairs represent.  Over the years I have learned a few lessons the hard way and I have certainly shed a tear or two but I remain grateful.  I am grateful for the summits I have reached, for the view at the top of the mountain, and the many people that have walked the journey with me.

I think of the miracle of the butterfly and its metamorphic change from a caterpillar.  It will have to struggle as it breaks out of the cocoon and it will have to do it on its own to be strong enough to fly.  So it is with our children and grandchildren. 

Many times over the years I have prayed and found peace in, Proverbs 22:6 (KJV)

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."  Tonight I am thinking about all those years of prayers and how worth it they were.  Not only do I see the faith of many generations growing to maturity in my children but I also see the expression of love God placed on my family generations ago.

My family began participating in marches on Washington in the early 60's to fight for the rights of others.  My parents were both pastors and blessed our home with a variety of people.  My father later worked for Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and my mother started a program for women that had been incarcerated so they could have a new start in life.  Social justice was part of the DNA of our family.

My oldest brother and his wife have served the homeless over the years.  My middle brother and his wife serve the homeless, the mentally ill, and the incarcerated.  My youngest brother and his wife encouraged the chronically ill. My husband and I support and encourage those affected by a special need or disability. 

Now I am seeing these genes come to fruition in my children and I couldn't be prouder.  My oldest daughter received an award tonight from the American Public Health Association for her work in passing ordinances for safe working conditions.  My younger daughter is working for Engender Health.  She is sharing her story to make a difference in the lives of young people and to empower them for their future. 

I share all of this to encourage parents.  Parenting is tough and as you kneel by your child's bed you wonder how it will all turn out.  You have a million and one decisions to make and you know you don't have all of the answers.  

A wise military man once told me, "You have to be consistent, persistent, and pray!"  I have held onto those words for 15 years now and have shared them many times.  Whether you have child that is four months old or 20 years old, keep these words in mind.  

Remember your DNA is in your children.  The lessons you have taught them are in their minds.  The faith you have shared will give them comfort and strength.  Your training will stay with them.

In addition, don't be afraid of letting your children teach you.  As culture and technology have changed, I have relied heavily on my children and they have taught me many great things.  Embrace those sweet babies, those teenagers and young adults, we have so much to learn from one another.