The last 48 hours have been emotional, horrible, beautiful and spiritual. My little brother is in his last days of life here on this earth. It all feels incredibly unfair. Larry is only 46 years old and is way too young to be at the end of his life. He is way too kind to have to endure this amount of pain and yet, here we are.  I have always known, however, that God is kind and that He walks every step of iife with us. I know he is with Larry right now and walking with him as well.

About 3:00 this morning I took a coffee break and talked to one of the hospice nurses for awhile. She shared with me that the end of life is the same as the beginning of life, only in reverse. You come into the world and go through labor. It is hard, it is stressful and every labor is different. No one knows how long it will take. It is different for every person.  It is the same with the end of life. We may have to go through a long labor. It may be painful and we may not know just how long it will last. It is just the completion of our journey on earth, rather than the beginning.

I think of it as the birth process for the next life, however.  Larry had many coaches during the labor.  We gathered around and prayed, we read scriptures, we read poems, we sang, and we even read a chapter of Winnie-the-Pooh.  We shared stories from the past with Larry and laughed together.  We shared all of the things we admired the most about him and then let him know that it was ok for him to go and everything and everyone would be taken care of.

During the "labor" Larry was gracious enough to demonstrate his love for us.  He gave hugs, blessed us, joked with us, tired to sing songs with us and even stroked my hair and cheek.  One of the most beautiful things was that he let us listen in on conversations between he and my dad who is already in heaven.  One day Larry raised him arm to the ceiling and was trying to grab something.  My sister-in-law asked him what he was reaching for and he said, "I will see you tomorrow, Dad."  She asked him if he could see Dad right then and how he looked.  Larry said, "He looks great!"  The next day he told Dad that everything was going to be alright.  Sometimes I wonder if he was telling Dad that he wanted one more day here.

As we entered the last two days of his life, Larry endured a pulse of 136 and a fever of 105.  As we swabbed Larry's mouth I kept thinking of Christ as he was on the cross, the suffering He endured and the liquids that were lifted up to him to bring him some comfort.

Larry has now gone to heaven.  I will truly miss Larry but I find great comfort in knowing that he is in heaven today, completely whole and completely in God's presence.  Larry endured many challenges in his life but is now healed.  I will miss you so much but rest in peace, sweet Larry, and enjoy our Dad and our Father today.