Go Right Through The Middle

Like most of us, I wish there were more hours in a day.  I am sure that at times I come across rather "spacey" but usually I am thinking about a book I want to write.  One of the books in my head is, Go Right Through The Middle.  I have the outline written but the rest of it lies in my head.

Go Right Through The Middle is about our journey with aging parents.  Much like parenting, you aren't given any training or tools for the journey.  You just walk through it doing the best you can and you are continually shocked by the things you didn't know.  Along the way, you have flashbacks of how your parents handled it when they were going through it.

One of the most difficult balances to find is how much to do for another person.  As your parent ages there will be more things they cannot do, but if you take the responsibilities too soon it will age them even faster.  They may have a challenge, but you may be the one that disables them by always doing everything for them.

Over the years I have realized that everything I learn about a disability can be applied to all of us.  We all need to serve people and extend kindness to them but I often have to ask the question, "If I do this, am I helping them or hurting them?"  This question can also influence our own aging process.  If I hand off a task for someone else to do for me, I will most likely never return to doing the task on my own.  How will my independence be impacted by it?

Bill and I have been involved in the care of aging parents for the last fifteen years.  At times it has been heart-breaking.  At times it has been challenging.  Mostly, however, it has helped us prepare for my own aging.  Bill and I will soon be 55 and 57.  Hopefully, we have a lot of years left but we are doing everything we can to have our affairs in order, for our sakes as well as our children's.  It is like getting our homework done before we go out and play.  

For those of you over 50, here is the beginning of our "To Do List:"

Homework:

• Have a will prepared
• Have a living will prepared
• Make a retirement plan.  Minimize financial responsibilities as much as possible.
• Purge the house so there is not so much to take care of
• Write out your funeral plans
• Prepare a location for your will and other important documents and then tell your children/or loved one where it is
• Research and have a plan on how to keep your mind, body, and soul active and in good shape
• Write letters to your children and grandchildren, sharing your faith and encouraging them in theirs
• Make a list of things you want certain people to have
• Make sure you have a thriving relationship with God

Play:

• Prepare a bucket list
• Live out the bucket list
• Tell/show people how much you love them every day
• Share the hope you have in Christ with as many people as possible
• Have so much fun that people aren't afraid of aging.  They want to be enjoying life as much as you are!