Bill and I had our first official class on Aging Parents and Loss a couple of days ago. More than ever, I know this information is needed. I remember bringing our first child home from the hospital, setting her down, and then Bill and I thinking, "Now what do we do?"
I don't know that it is that different when we face the journey of aging parents. When we bring that baby home, our hearts are so full of love for them. We want to do everything right so our child's life will turn out well. We want them to feel loved, feel secure, and be happy. With aging parents, we feel the same way. In both situations we realize how little we know.
I have had many conversations with people since Bill and I felt called to approach this subject and started educating ourselves. As acquired disabilities start to emerge, we wonder how much to protect our parents, as well as how much independence to give them. The common feeling that has been expressed is, "I feel disrespectful thinking there may be something wrong. Why am I even thinking there may be." On the coattails of feeling disrespectful, is the feeling of guilt.
What is different about raising children and raising parents is that the journey with parents will most likely get harder, not easier. They may acquire more disabilities and medical issues. Their cognitive abilities may become more impaired. The role we have played as a child may suddenly necessitate the role of a parent instead.
The best way to handle this journey is through education. The more we prepare for the steps ahead, the better off we will be. In addition, it helps to be surrounded by others who have either walked the journey ahead of us, or are at the same stage and can be supportive.
Finally, I think the most important thing is to grant grace to our parents, as well as ourselves. Every new stage of life has its challenges as well as its joys. It is only in walking in grace and faith that our parents will receive the respect they so richly deserve.
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
Colossians 3:12
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