Let Me Introduce You to Marti

Fortunately for me, I have had numerous mentors and super heroes cross my path over the years and I am so grateful for the skills they have taught me.  One of my mentors has been Marti Smith.  

A number of years ago I was blessed to have each of her children in my classroom.  Hopefully they learned a few things while being in my classroom but the lessons I have learned from their sweet momma have been invaluable.

Marti Smith, OTR/L is an amazing occupational therapist and Fellow for Child Trauma Academy.  She is able to assess a child's needs so quickly.  Her love, compassion, knowledge and experience offer support not only to the child, but the entire family.  Visit her website, www.creativetherapies.com.  You will find free trauma tips that can be beneficial to children from a variety of backgrounds.

Below is an interview Marti did with me on, How to Respond to People with Love and Help Them Share Their Story.  http://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-v77iy-9050e6 and an interview with Bill on Sound and Auditory Sense.

We are so thankful for Marti, her skills and experience, and her desire to make a difference in the lives of children and their families.

A Difficult Conversation

We often say that parenting doesn't come with a manual.  It is rather amazing we mostly rely on, "On The Job Training" for parenting.  We try to absorb all we can and make the best decisions we can at the time, based on the knowledge we have.  We often feel inadequate and unprepared.  

Ironically, we often think that stage of bewilderment is over when our kids are grown, but then we move into the new stage of aging parents.  Once again we feel like there is no manual, our "on the job training" is inadequate, and we feel terribly unprepared.  The truth is, there are resources available to us.   We just have to look for them.

Over the last few years we have walked through the sudden loss of a parent, the diagnosis of cancer with a short battle, the diagnosis of vascular dementia, and the typical progression of aging with our parents.  Each situation has presented a variety of issues and challenges.  

We have also walked alongside family and friends that have faced additional challenges because financial and emotional issues had not been addressed.  For example, in some states, a spouse can be forced to sell their home because a will was not prepared.  "Squatter's Rights" can get a little tricky in some states.  It is important to know the laws of the state you live in and how to protect your family's assets.  

Make a commitment to get your affairs in order for your parents, yourself, and your children:

• Is there a will?
• Is there a living will?
• Does someone have Power of Attorney?
• Does someone have Medical Power of Attorney?
• Do you have life insurance?
• Is more than one person on all bank accounts?
• Is there a listed beneficiary for life insurance, trusts, etc.?
• Does a DNR need to be in place?
• Have you planned your funeral?
• Are all important papers in one location and does someone know where they are located?
• Have you gone through your house to minimize what a loved one will have to deal with?
• Have you kept on top of paper piles, both discarding what is not needed and filing what is essential?
• Have you made a list of what you want to be given to certain people?
• Have you written letters to close loved ones?
• Have you asked or extended forgiveness to loved ones?
• Have you established a relationship with a lawyer and an accountant to see what else might need to be prepared?

It is hard to have these conversations but it is a relief to get them behind you.  If we can help you answer any questions on aging parent issues (financial, emotional, or spiritual) please feel free to contact us at gracewithoutmargins@aol.com.

Love In The Margins

Oh course, I loved her the moment I laid eyes on her, but one of the moments when I realized how special she was occurred when she was five-years-old.  I found her in the bathtub with the shower curtain closed, reading a book, in the middle of the night.  Bethany had a tremendous love for learning and still does. She has three degrees and is working on her PhD in Epidemiology.  

I love her love for learning, but I especially love her love for people.  Bethany has never been one to enjoy the spotlight.  Most of the time you will find her in the margins looking for someone to help, someone to learn from, someone to befriend.  I know that love has been painful at times, but her desire to extend it continues to grow.

We often consider what we need to teach our children, never realizing how much they will teach us.  Bethany has taught me to challenge all of my convictions, making some of them stronger and some of them more pliable.  She has brought people to me from the margins that I may not have known otherwise and I am grateful.  She has influenced me to want to live with less and with greater gratitude.

Happy Birthday, Bethany!  

Your love and your countenance are more beautiful every year!

Much love,

Mom

The Journey Will Be Amazing!

Do you have a heart for people living in the margins?  Do you want to better understand the person affected by a disability?  We would love to share our journey with you.

In Grace Without Margins, we share our story of serving in disability ministry, but more importantly, we share the story of how our lives and our perceptions of people changed as we became friends with the people the ministry brought into our lives.  We would never be the same people because our perceptions had changed!

You can purchase, Grace Without Margins, on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/Grace-Without-Margins-Journey-Through/dp/0578106744/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1533264866&sr=1&keywords=grace+without+margins&dpID=413XLNbCo0L&preST=_SY344_BO1,204,203,200_QL70_&dpSrc=srch.

"Maybe there is a child that will come through the door of your church this week and you will look at them differently.  Hopefully, you will not look at them with the fears of starting a new ministry, but with a heart of compassion that simply wants to embrace them and all that God has made them to be. I promise you the journey will be amazing and you will be both changed and blessed!"

Are You Living In the Margin?

When we named our business and ministry Grace Without Margins years ago we were largely considering people with disabilities and how they were walking in the margins of our culture.  They were often walking along the edge of society and not being accepted into it.  This can be heart-breaking for the individual, as well as the friends and family that love them.

It has been encouraging to me to see the changes that have occurred in our society over the last 20 years.  There have been advancements in accessibility, accommodations, mobility, education, and employment for those living with a disability.  Sometimes it is good to take a few moments and reflect on the improvements that have been made so we can energize for the tasks that still lie ahead.

What intrigues me is to think about people who continually have to battle the margins of society and those that come in and out of the margins based on circumstances.  I think we all stumble into the margins at times.  We feel lonely, isolated, misunderstood and even rejected into the margins.  We may feel like no one understands or cares.

Think about the woman who is physically abused by her husband.

Think about the child that is sexually abused on a regular basis.

What about the person struggling with alcohol or drug addiction?

What about the friend battling a mental health issue?

What about the parent whose child committed a serious crime?

The teenager struggling with an eating disorder.

The child battling cancer.

Many challenges in life can leave us in the margins.  The beautiful part of that is, through those challenges in the margins, we can learn greater compassion and understand grace.  We may not have walked the same journey but we have a better understanding of what it feels like to be alone, to be limited by our circumstances, to feel like no one cares.  Look for those that are in the margins around you and help pull them into community.  Who knows?  It may help the margin you are living in get a little smaller.