Everyone Needs Someone To Play With Them

     A close friend and occupational therapist sent me the article and link below.  The article is about a young man that is immobile and non-verbal.  The article shares about his desire to be paid attention to and better yet, gives suggestions on how to interact with him and build a relationship.  The suggestions are appropriate for so many people we love and care about.  I highly encourage you to read it and share it with a friend.   I hope you will find the article as helpful as I did.

http://www.preemiebabies101.com/2014/04/please-play-with-me/

Blessings-
Deana

Empowerment in Aging

     It doesn't seem like there is much time between getting your children through the teen/young adult years before your parents are going through the senior years.  The funny thing is, I don't know that they are all that different.

     During the teen years, you are trying to figure out who you are, where you belong in the world, what you have to offer the world and the interesting balance between freedom and responsibilities.  It seems to be the same in the senior years.  

     Yesterday I had lunch with a good friend who is in her seventies.  Just as I am re-evaluating my life in my fifties, she is in her seventies.  She shared that she is not ready to go yet.  I enthusiastically said, "That's great.  Now what are you going to do?"  She shared some of her project ideas and then she started sharing some of the difficult aspects of aging.  She feels that in your senior years the world tells you you aren't valuable anymore, you can't do this or that anymore, and you can't make responsible decisions.  The initial sassy part of me responds with, "What?  Who is saying that?  Blow it off."  Yet, there is another side of me...the practical side.

     As I age, I have to realize that there are tasks that will become more difficult for me.  I am not going to say that I can't do them anymore, I will just have to do them differently.  As with so many disabilities, you have to focus on changing how you can do something because you can't do it the same way any longer.  

     A good friend lost a leg from an accident.  He didn't have to stop skiing, he just had to do it differently.  A friend lost his ability to walk.  He still gets every where he wants to go, he just has to do it differently. Other friends have lost some of their memory.  It is not that they can't, they may just have to remember with the help of a piece of paper and a pencil.

     As we age we may find ourselves in the "special needs" category because we need support in ways we didn't before.  I am going out on a limb here, but we are the ones that can disable ourselves, however, by our response.  Are we going to focus on the "I can't" or the "Hmmm....how can I do it now?  What are my options?  What tools do I need?  What is the safest avenue for me to do this for me and the people around me?As we age, we need to empower ourselves with the understanding that we still can, we just have to do it differently.  We still have what the world needs, it just may be in a different form.  

     So...if you are aging, don't listen to the world, rather listen to yourself and to God.  I think we all have legacies we want to leave in this world and God has all the possibilities available to us.

Sanctuary: Do You Have One?

Splendor and majesty are before Him, strength and beauty are in His sanctuary.  Psalm 96:6

One thing I would love for all caregivers to have is a sanctuary. Sense almost everyone is caring for someone, I think we all should have a sanctuary.  A sanctuary is a place of refuge and a holy place.

     Over the years I have had a number of sanctuaries.  As a child I remember all of the beautiful sanctuaries I worshipped and learned about God in.  I especially loved the stained glass and wish it were in every church.  I remember the "sanctuary" of being served communion.  There is no greater remembrance of such a great sacrifice.

     I love the sanctuaries found in churches but there are also other sanctuaries that can be found in numerous places.  As a teen, during some difficult years, my sanctuary was found in a dear friend's garden while eating snow peas.  She taught me about God there and she loved me through my insecurities.  As a young adult my sanctuary was in Turkey Creek Canyon in Colorado.  I would drive up there regularly to spend some time with God.  Later in my twenties, I found God in the prayer garden of a sisterhood I stayed in.  That sanctuary was holy and peaceful and even though I wrestled with God for control, I knew He loved me...deeply.

     When we lived in the Houston area, it was a little harder to find my beloved sanctuary but I finally did on a bench overlooking Nassau Bay.  I especially loved the light house!  Since I have been in Texas I have looked for my sanctuary.  I often find "sanctuary" in a field of wildflowers. 

     About a year ago my sister-in-law made a sanctuary for herself and I loved it!  So I have been working on my own, right outside my back door.  I go there to rest, to read, to pray, and to enjoy beautiful flowers and birds.  It is becoming my place of refuge....my holy place.

More Than Conquerors...Dick and Rick Hoyt

I have always been amazed by Dick and Rick Hoyt, Boston Marathon stalwarts since 1981.  What makes them unique is Rick is a quadriplegic and his father pushes him throughout the race.  They have an amazing father and son bond.  They demonstrate incredible love and sacrifice for each other and the inspirational ability to overcome obstacles and challenges.  

I have attached a link to their story.  When you read their story it inspires you to conquer your own challenges and ultimately, not even see them as challenges.

http://wbur.fm/1ecVF6Z

Blessings-
Deana

WOW, kids! WOW!''

Yesterday was so incredible that I didn't even know how to write about it!  I was overwhelmed.  I was  incredibly happy!  And I am so grateful!  The compassion, the sacrifice, the insight, the drive, and the commitment of fifteen five-year-old children can be mind blowing.

Yesterday we gathered together to celebrate all that God had done through fifteen five-year-old children.  I shared with them the impact of what they had done over the last five weeks.  Because of the money they raised for wheelchairs, twenty people's lives would be different from now on.  They would be able to get out of their homes, be able to attend school, be able to play outside, would be able to attend church and would hear about the sacrificial love of Christ.

As Andy Andrews shares in his book, The Butterfly Effect, "everything you do matters."  Just as a butterfly flaps his wings and moves molecules of air and that in turn moves more molecules of air, these children have made a difference in people's lives and they in turn will make differences in more people's lives and the butterfly effect has occurred.  People from twelve different countries have heard about their journey and have been blessed by their story.

We were so grateful for Mary to join us from Joni and Friends.  She shared with the kids and gave them some beautiful books.  Mary listened to the stories of how the kids raised the money and then waited to hear, along with the kids, how much money had been raised.  

Our magician came in and magically pulled out ten butterflies from an empty box, representing ten wheelchairs.  A few minutes later she pulled out another ten butterflies, representing another ten wheelchairs.  The kids had raised $3,000 to help get refurbished wheelchairs to children and adults in other countries.  The kids had lemonade stands, sold cookies, snacks, and coffee.  The did a variety of chores.  They had concerts in the park.  They cleaned out gently used toys and clothes and sold them. They emptied their piggy banks.  They all used their own personal talents and abilities to raise the most money they could.  

We took a picture with our $3,000 check and then we threw hundreds of butterflies on a sheet and watched them fly.  I went to bed last night with the image of the kids with joy on their faces watching the butterflies fly into the air.  That image builds my faith and brings me great joy.

I hope you have enjoyed being with us on our journey and that it touches you.  Everyone around us has a need and a challenge and you may be the one that can meet it.  Watch the kids...they know exactly what to do when it comes to love.

I encourage you to learn more about Joni and Friends by visiting their website www.joniandfriends.org and by reading some of Andy Andrews books, The Boy Who Changed the World and The Butterfly Effect.  They will change your life.

Our journey is not over, it has actually just begun so I hope you don't go anywhere.  I would love to hear your stories and read your comments.  I encourage you to look for where God is working and join Him.  He will bless you more than you can imagine.

Day 22: Giving A Little More

Today I took some special pictures of the kids for our celebration next week and have been adding up the last bit of change.  Today what got me were the three bags of money and butterflies that came in.  One was from a little boy that brought in $20 from bringing in his neighbor's trash cans.  He has the sweetest, kindest face.  He was more than happy to do a little more.  The other two bags came from a little girl. She looked up at me with her beautiful eyes and smile and said, "I emptied my piggy banks."  It always stings my heart a little when they do that, but I am also blessed by the joy on their faces.  There is no end to their generosity and compassion.

Day 21: How Are We Different?

I am always a little sad when I come to the end of the unit on special needs that I teach my five-year-old class.  I pour my heart and soul into the unit.  I have added more experiences every year and yet I feel I have done such an inadequate job of giving everything I can to the kids.  There is so much I want to communicate to them.  All of the lessons I have learned so far took me 15 years to experience.  I don't know why I think I can teach them in four or five weeks.

Working with children and young adults with special needs has changed my perspective on all people and definitely helped me to understand myself in a different way.  You see we are all different but we are also all the same.  Everyone has a need to be loved, accepted, and valued.  It doesn't matter what our challenge or disability is.  We also have a need to be part of something bigger than ourselves.  When you know that someone needs to be valued and have purpose, you look at them differently.  You respond to them differently.

For so many years I struggled with self-image and through all of the friends I have made in this ministry I have realized that it doesn't matter.  If I struggle with self-image then I am focusing on myself, just as much as a person that struggles with arrogance does.  If I am going to communicate love and acceptance to others, then I have to believe it first for myself.  If I truly believe that we are ALL created in God's image, then that includes me as well.

Every year I hope and pray that my students leave my classroom believing and knowing they are loved, accepted, and valued.  I hope they can understand that God can show His power through any weakness they may have.  My hope is they will never spend their energy feeling self-conscious but will walk confidently knowing that they were made in God's image and God has a plan for them.

I know the things we have experienced over the last five weeks will fade from their memory but I hope the children are still changed.  I hope some of their questions have been answered and the walls so many of us have built will never be built in their lives.

This year marks 50 years of the signing of the Civil Rights Act and next year will mark 25 years of the Americans with Disabilities Act.  So much has changed in 50 years.  It is easy to focus on what has not happened that needs to, but our country and its attitudes are radically different than they were 50 years ago.  I hope my students will never know the injustices of the past and will be able to embrace people, their abilities and disabilities, in a way that is both empowering and honoring to the people God has created.

Day 20: Invisible Disabilities

On Friday we talked about "Invisible Disabilities" during our class time.  Sometimes people have disabilities that cannot be seen.  We had already talked about dyslexia and autism.  I told the kids that I have a disability that cannot be seen and asked if they could guess what it was.  

I eventually shared with them that I have diabetes.  In fact, I have a number of family members with diabetes.  They all exclaimed, "Oh yeah, you aren't supposed to eat very much sugar!"  I said, "Yeah, it is kind of a bummer."

I shared about some of the pitfalls of diabetes and how I have to watch how low and how high my blood sugar gets.  Thankfully, I have a pretty mild case right now but I have to be careful.   I shared with the kids that most of us have challenges in one way or another but God can use those challenges to show His power.  

We concluded our time by watching a DVD from Joni Eareckson Tada's "How To Be A Friend To Someone With A Disability."  They learned more about their program and how the wheelchairs are collected, refurbished at prisons, and then redistributed to people that need them.  The kids were also able to see a video of some of the kids that have received wheelchairs.

We will be learning a few more things about disabilities this week but mostly, we will be preparing for our big celebration.  I cannot wait to tell the parents and kids how much money was raised!

Day 19: Monkey Noises, Velcro, and Bubbles

I am always blessed when I have Marti Smith visit my classroom!  She is an amazing mom to one of my students and amazing to me as a friend.  As an occupational therapist, she is the best!

Marti visited my classroom today to share with my students about children that have sensory processing issues.  First of all, she let the children experience some of the things they experience.  She had her daughter and personal assistant share about the foods she likes.  While she was talking she played monkey noises that were quite distracting. Then she talked about the different noises in the room that we might not notice but a child with sensory processing issues might not only notice but be very distracted and frustrated by.

Marti then put on some gardening gloves that had Velcro attached to them.  She went around the circle and shook hands with kids and touched their faces.  She asked the children how that felt to them and then shared that some children have a hard time with touch and it may be very uncomfortable or even painful to them.

Through role playing Marti talked about how everyone has their own personal bubble of space they are comfortable with.  Some children may have a very small bubble of space and not understand they are invading yours and some children may have a very large bubble of space and not want you to invade their bubble.  She and the kids had great dialogue about how to effectively communicate what you are comfortable with.  She shared that it is better to tell a friend what you do want them to do rather than what you don't want them to do.  For example, "Could you keep your hands to yourself" rather than "Stop touching me!"

One of my favorite things Marti shared was, "People will tell  you who they are but listen and watch when they show you who they are."  In other words, people will let you know what they are comfortable with.  You just need to watch, listen, and pay attention.

Marti gave great suggestions on how to be an encouraging and supportive friend.  At the end the kids all invaded any bubble Marti might have and gave her a group hug!  Marti was a huge blessing today and gave the kids great insight into relationships.

Day 18: How To Be A Friend to Someone With a Learning Disability (from Joni Eareckson Tada)

Today we continued our discussion about learning disabilities.  Since my students are learning to read they can appreciate the struggle it can be sometimes.  Some of them are now about to read well without sounding out words and some of them are on the verge of being able to read smoothly.  Because this is so fresh in their minds they can relate to the child that struggles with reading or other learning disabilities.  The kids have been great about encouraging each other as they are learning to read.

Several of my students brought up stuttering.  Several of them know someone that struggles with this.  One of my children shared that her brother struggles with it.  She sweetly said, "I never speak for him.  I am just patient and listen."  I shared with her about a friend of mine that shared a story with me years ago.  He struggled with stuttering as a child and he shared all of the emotional struggles that went along with it.  Eventually he was taught to talk in a four-box pattern.  At first he sounded robotic but after practicing with this method he became very quick at it and no one could tell he was speaking in a pattern.  I certainly couldn't tell.  He shared with me how much this meant to his life.  I think of Moses who struggled with speaking and how God used him in such powerful ways.

I shared from Joni Eareckson Tada's book, On A Roll For Jesus!.  She includes a list of suggestions on "How To Be A Friend To Someone With A Learning Disability."  Some of the suggestions encourage us to not tease but be encouraging, be respectful when they are trying to work, don't speak for someone but be patient and encouraging, and to never call anyone names.

The kids opened up a lot when they shared times they have been teased or called a name and how much they didn't like it.  We talked about how they all deserve to be treated with respect.  They had great suggestions on how to do that for each other.

As I closed the day, I spent two hours hanging up butterflies.  I can't think of a better way to end the day!

Day 17: Learning About Learning Disabilities

The kids brought in another $400 today!!  They are still going strong and still get very excited when it is their turn to hang up butterflies in the school.  I have stopped telling them how many wheelchairs they have raised money for.  They will be very surprised at the total!

We had a special treat today.  One of the children's mothers works for Salus Chiropractic.  They came to our school yesterday and today to bless the teachers with lunch and massages. They are also donating money for the "Wheels For the World" fundraiser.  They are such a kind group of people and I must say, give great massages!  Thank you, Salus Chiropractic, for partnering with us on "Wheels For the World", and for spoiling us on top of it!

In class today I shared with the kids about dyslexia.  I have a large lowercase "d" that I flip to a "b", then a "p", and then a "q".  I shared with the kids that it is normal for them to still get confused between a "b" and a "d" but one day they will stop doing that.  I shared that some children will continually flip letters and it makes it very difficult to read.  I then had them sit at a table with a piece of paper that is divided into 12 squares.  They were quickly given instructions on things to write and draw in each section.  The task was pretty difficult.

Afterwards we had a group discussion and I asked the kids if they thought the exercise was difficult or frustrating.  Most of them said it was.  I shared that children with learning disabilities feel this way quite often.  We had a great discussion about whether we should make fun of someone that is struggling or encourage them.  We talked about different ways we can encourage each other.

Day 16: Working Through A Disability

The kids and I talked about what it would be like to be visually impaired.  We watched some clips from "Little House on the Prairie."  When one of the main characters, Mary, became blind, she walked through a lot of emotions.  We had a great discussion after Mary accepted her impairment and then started ministering to young children in a school for the blind.  The kids talked about how God showed His power through her weakness.  They commented on how happy she looked after she started working with the kids.