Challenging, Inspiring, Life-Changing

Everyone experiences events in life that change the course of their life.  Of course giving my life to Christ, getting married, having children and grandchildren are at the top of that list.  We also have those events that shape our perspectives as well as the calling God will place on our lives.  Participating in civil rights marches, working for Lyman Coleman of Serendipity, spending the summer at a convent, and being involved in special needs ministry are a few of the experiences that have helped shape my perspective and journey in life.

Last January I felt God's prompting to take a course that would refine some of my perspectives.  I was a little nervous to take a college level class after so many years but I am so glad I did.  I took the course, Beyond Suffering:  A Christian View on Disability Ministry.  I was so impressed by it that I took their leadership training course as well so that I would be qualified to teach the course at some point.  

I have been thinking and praying through what 2017 should look like and I am anxious and excited to share this course with you.  I have absorbed the material but I want it to infiltrate my view of disability ministry and most importantly, the friends working through the challenges of disabilities.  There is no better way to do that than to teach the material to others.

"Beyond Suffering is a dynamic course in which a serious student can discover what God is doing in the midst of suffering around the world, as well as his ultimate redemption plan for us and for our world.  The four modules will give the student a well-rounded introduction to the various aspects of disability ministry.  Each module highlights a different facet of God's global purpose for welcoming people with disabilities into the church." -from Beyond Suffering by Joni Eareckson Tada and Steve Bundy

The modules included in the course are:

• An Overview of Disability Ministry
• The Theology of Suffering and Disability
• The Church and Disability Ministry
• An Introduction to Bioethics

Prayerfully consider joining me on Saturday, November 19 from 10:00 am - 11:00 am to hear  details about the course and the impact it will make on your view of disability ministry and most of all, people.  If you have questions or plan to attend, please contact me at theboggi@aim.com or by calling me at 512-673-0187.  I hope you will consider taking this journey with me if you are in the Austin area.  If you are out of the Austin area, please consider taking the course online.  You can go to https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/beyond-suffering/id609174961?mt=11or www.joniandfriends.org for more information about the course.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Deana Boggess

The Shelter of Hope

Yesterday was tough with one of those life experiences you never want to have.  This morning I went to check on a friend that was deeply hurt by that experience and it was evident that her anchor of hope was buried.

Over the years I have helped friends and loved ones walk through serious illnesses, many forms of cancer, the loss of a parent, the loss of a child, fatal car accidents, and end stage dementia.  Each of these ailments have their own brand of suffering.  An illness we don't often recognize, however, is the malady of hopelessness.

As I sat by my friend's side, she looked up at me and said, "I just don't know if it is worth it anymore."  There wasn't a pill, shot, or exercise I could hand her that could treat the ailment.  Fortunately, for all of us, there is a cure, however.

No matter what the ailment, loss or heartache is, Christ is our hope.  It is a hope that stays with us.  It  is an everlasting hope.  When we ask Christ to be our Savior, He joins the journey with us and gives us hope on a daily basis.

A wise friend once shared with me, "Every storm runs out of rain."  Sometimes you simply need to ride out the storm under the shelter of God's loving arms.  Eventually the rain will stop and God will place a rainbow as a reminder of His promises.

Psalm 25:5 Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.

Psalm 62:5 Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.

2 Corinthians 1:7 And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

Go Right Through The Middle

Like most of us, I wish there were more hours in a day.  I am sure that at times I come across rather "spacey" but usually I am thinking about a book I want to write.  One of the books in my head is, Go Right Through The Middle.  I have the outline written but the rest of it lies in my head.

Go Right Through The Middle is about our journey with aging parents.  Much like parenting, you aren't given any training or tools for the journey.  You just walk through it doing the best you can and you are continually shocked by the things you didn't know.  Along the way, you have flashbacks of how your parents handled it when they were going through it.

One of the most difficult balances to find is how much to do for another person.  As your parent ages there will be more things they cannot do, but if you take the responsibilities too soon it will age them even faster.  They may have a challenge, but you may be the one that disables them by always doing everything for them.

Over the years I have realized that everything I learn about a disability can be applied to all of us.  We all need to serve people and extend kindness to them but I often have to ask the question, "If I do this, am I helping them or hurting them?"  This question can also influence our own aging process.  If I hand off a task for someone else to do for me, I will most likely never return to doing the task on my own.  How will my independence be impacted by it?

Bill and I have been involved in the care of aging parents for the last fifteen years.  At times it has been heart-breaking.  At times it has been challenging.  Mostly, however, it has helped us prepare for my own aging.  Bill and I will soon be 55 and 57.  Hopefully, we have a lot of years left but we are doing everything we can to have our affairs in order, for our sakes as well as our children's.  It is like getting our homework done before we go out and play.  

For those of you over 50, here is the beginning of our "To Do List:"

Homework:

• Have a will prepared
• Have a living will prepared
• Make a retirement plan.  Minimize financial responsibilities as much as possible.
• Purge the house so there is not so much to take care of
• Write out your funeral plans
• Prepare a location for your will and other important documents and then tell your children/or loved one where it is
• Research and have a plan on how to keep your mind, body, and soul active and in good shape
• Write letters to your children and grandchildren, sharing your faith and encouraging them in theirs
• Make a list of things you want certain people to have
• Make sure you have a thriving relationship with God

Play:

• Prepare a bucket list
• Live out the bucket list
• Tell/show people how much you love them every day
• Share the hope you have in Christ with as many people as possible
• Have so much fun that people aren't afraid of aging.  They want to be enjoying life as much as you are!

If You Were A Mirror, What Would You Reflect?

For some time now I have found it amusing to listen to how people describe one another.  If you were to describe someone, how would you do it?  Would you talk about their hair color? Eye color? Height?  Weight?  Skin color?  Financial status?  Societal Status? Personality? Abilities or disabilities?

I think the way we describe someone is a reflection of our heart.  It reveals what is important to us.  It can reveal our perspective on people.  Once I had a child describe me as "having wild grey hair and cool clothes."  One of my personal favorites is, "She likes to play with God" which was written on a little balloon.  If you heard either of these descriptions you would instantly have a specific impression of me.  On the negative side you might heat someone describe me as "older and overweight."  A description like this one would give you another impression.

At times I like to mess with people a little bit when I am describing someone.  I like to leave out a defining detail that would make it easy for someone to locate an individual.  It makes you have to think, be a little more observant, and even get to know people.  If I describe a person only by their personality, for example, it makes it a little tougher.

In disability ministry trainings I have attended, I have often been told "to look at the person, not the wheelchair."  There are a number of things to ponder in that statement.  I guess over the years I have worked on training myself to look into the eyes first.  I do think so much about one's soul are revealed through the eyes.  I would much rather start with the eyes than the waistline, or clothes, or piercings.  For those with visual impairment, their souls are displayed just as powerfully in other ways.

For awhile I tried to not notice the disability at all but focus on other aspects of the person.  I think this is good but abilities and disabilities are a part of who we are.  Once we have a filter that allows us to see people as God sees them, we will be able to take in the whole person, created in God's image, with a powerful purpose, ordained by God.

If you were a mirror for someone else, what would you reflect?  Would you only choose the parts of them that you understood or mattered to you?  Or would you reflect the whole person knowing God has a plan and a purpose for every aspect of them?

As David Siek, a good friend, once told me, "Look Into Their Eyes."  Look into the eyes of a person first to find your description and then feel comfortable embracing all of them, abilities and disabilities, because God can use every part of us to show His glory and purpose.

Serving Together

On Tuesday I had the blessing of meeting with five amazing women that serve and lead in disability ministry.  Some of them direct ministries in mega churches and some of them in small churches but without a doubt, all of them are making a difference in the lives of families.

What I love about these women is the variety of personalities, strengths and weaknesses and expressions of faith.  Their ministries are different because they are different, as well as the circumstances they serve in.  What bonds them together is their faith in the Lord and their love for people of ALL abilities.

We are all ordinary women with a passion and a knowledge of the grace that God has bestowed on each of us.  Amazing things can happen when we come together to encourage and strengthen one another.

Mental Health First Aid

As a teacher I have had CPR/First Aid training every 3 years.  I am grateful for the training as I have had to use the skills I learned a few times.  One of the abilities I have acquired and found most helpful is the ability to stay calm, assess the situation and be able to help the other person stay calm.  

As a follow-up to the "Pathways to Hope" conference I recently attended, my brother suggested I take a course, "Mental Health First Aid."  My brother is a social worker and has worked in the area of mental health for many years and so has his wife.  They have been my "go to" people when I have had questions on mental health.

The "Mental Health First Aid" class was extremely helpful.  I would encourage everyone to take it just as I would encourage CPR/First Aid.  I have gained more knowledge about mental health issues.  I also have a greater empathy and compassion for people affected by it.  During the course you have the opportunity to experience some of the issues that can lead up to a mental health crisis.

Below is the link to the first aid course I attended:

http://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org/cs/take-a-course/find-a-course/

Another great resource is:

NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness | NAMI: The National ...

With these organizations you can either find a course for you to attend or you can arrange for a class to be taught at your church.

The best way to support a friend or family member struggling with a mental health challenge is to educate yourself and walk alongside them with support.  

Stop Whispering! The Stigma of Mental Illness

As I have shared before, I love words!  I love the sound of words.  I love the look of words on my walls.  I love the power of words.

Sometimes, however, words paralyze me because there are just so many I could share about an event in my life and I have no idea how to narrow them down.  Sometimes words just feel inadequate.

Words are inadequate for the last two days at the "Pathways to Hope" conference I attended.  The conference challenged my perspective and made me realize, once again, how limited my love can be.

I love the journey God has put me on in disability ministry but it is also overwhelming at times.  All I can see are my own shortcomings and lack of understanding.  Currently, I am attempting to devote 20% of my time to educate myself regarding the variety of challenges people have to face.  This month I chose to educate myself on mental illness.  I attended the "Pathways to Hope" conference this weekend and will be taking the course, "Mental Health First Aid" on Thursday.

There are many enlightenment's to share but one of the first realizations that struck me is how differently we respond to mental health issues compared to physical health issues.  When a friend is struck with a physical illness we respond with all kinds of help.  We deliver meals, help with the children, and help with chores around the house.  When someone is struggling with a mental health issue, we tend to back away.  I believe this response is due to a lack of knowledge and understanding, as well as fear.  A mental health crisis is not that different than a physical health crisis.  In the midst of it we need support, understanding, help, and an extra shot of hope.

Statistically, on any given day, 1 out of 5 people will struggle with a mental health issue.  Practically, that means that almost 200 of my Facebook friends are struggling today.  Most likely I will never know about their struggle because there is such a great stigma placed on mental illness.  They will feel alone which will only complicate their challenge.

To those that are struggling I hope you will begin to understand that you are not alone.  There are many people walking this journey.  Tell someone you trust and let them support you and help you get  help.  We all have our struggles and you never know which friend of yours may have walked this road before you did.  Let them use their journey to help you.

To those that are uncomfortable supporting someone with a mental illness, I encourage you to educate yourself.  Become familiar with mental illness and what you can do to support those suffering from it.  Don't shy away but offer to walk the road with them...pray for them, support them, encourage them, get them help, and offer them hope.

As I learned this weekend, cancer used to be whispered about and is now out in the open.  May mental illness no longer be something we whisper about.